I believed a lot of really silly things when I was a child.
I thought if I pushed on them hard enough, my teeth could be moved back and I wouldn’t need to get braces. But lo and behold I still had a metal mouth for a little over a year.
I thought there were monsters in my closets. But what child didn’t? Don’t lie, you did, too.
When people said they were going to Mass, I always heard “mask” and thought they were going to see the Jim Carrey movie “The Mask.”
I thought the MUD plant on John J. Pershing Drive in Omaha was Sea World. My sister still won’t let me live that one down and I have a feeling after my coworkers see this, they won’t either.
Hey, they were giant pools of water! Any other kid who passed it could think the same thing! I passionately defend this one, but still regret ever telling my sister.
I thought in the movie “Grease” when Kenickie and Rizzo are getting hot and heavy in his car and he pulls out a “25-cent insurance policy,” he was giving her a ring. I only learned years later and it was something a little more...protective.
A friend of mine thought he was handing her an actual insurance policy so I am relieved that I wasn’t alone.
I thought the word was “Premadonna” and not “prima donna.” I thought when you called someone that, it meant they were around before Madonna was on the scene. I also believed I would never be able to sleep, let alone live, without my blankie. While Blankie still exists in a drawer, I have managed to get by without her (yes, Blankie is female).
And hey, it turns out that I am not alone in thinking silly things! My coworkers all shared some stories with me.
Kelsey Stewart thought if she used a hole puncher on her hair, it would punch little circles into it. Nope. Turns out it just trims it and when her mother found out, she fibbed.
Eric Taylor used to break open rocks, see the glitzy insides and thought that he had just struck it rich. He was very bummed out to find that said rocks weren’t lucrative.
Michael Batchelder thought that when someone said they were “running for president,” they actual had to run a race. That would be way more entertaining, actually. He also “might have” fallen for the “got your nose” gag.
When Rachel George was little, she got a scrape on her knee. Her dad said he was going to put rubbing alcohol on it and she said, “But I don’t wanna get drunk!” She still can’t believe she knew what getting drunk meant at such a young age.
Kristan Gray thought that when the moon was crescent-shaped, it was a giant toe nail in the sky. She said it really horrified her whenever she saw it.
Eugene Curtin couldn’t think of something he used to believe as a child, but he says when his daughter was younger, she asked if houses grew out of the ground like trees. I wish that was true. I bet the housing market would be way cheaper. You just have to buy a seed.
Something many agreed on was the classic “I swallowed a seed so now a watermelon is going to grow inside me!”
Isn’t it funny what you believe as a child? It’s always a real reality jolt when you find out that what you thought wasn’t true, but was extremely far-fetched.
Anyway, this column doesn’t really have a point, I just wanted to give you all a good chuckle.
I’m sure you all believed something just as silly or strange as a child so don’t judge us. We know better now.