Okay, not “forced.”

Okay, kind of.

Adam Klinker threw a bracket on my desk and told me to do it, and I am very susceptible to peer pressure.

I will demonstrate how I picked using the SOUTH quadrant as an example.

Round one:

Florida because I want to go to Harry Potter World, Colorado because I like Colorado Springs, SFA because my best friend lives in Austin, UCLA because celebrities live in LA, Dayton beats Ohio State because I’m biased against state schools, Western Michigan because my friend Keps lives in Michigan, Stanford because I always wished I could go to an Ivy League, Kansas because there’s good shopping in Kansas City.

Round two:

Colorado trumps Florida because I have a bunch of friends in Denver, SFA beats UCLA because small schools are better, Western Michigan beats Dayton because I know nothing about Ohio and Kansas beats Stanford because I’ve been to Kansas.

Round three:

Western Michigan beats Kansas because Kansas is Midwest not South and doesn’t belong here, SFA beats Colorado because I like underdogs.

Round four:

Western Michigan goes on to the Final Four because underdogs never actually win.

Long story short:

My Final Four is Western Michigan, Iowa State, American and Michigan. There can’t be two Michigan teams in the final because that’s unfair to the other 49 states and I like D.C. a lot, so American beats Michigan and Western Michigan beats Iowa State. And then America wins. Because Murica.

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