. . . who I’m going to vote for in the GOP Primary for governor, and while I won’t say who it is I will explain how I came to my decision.

I was listening to a radio commercial yesterday in which the candidate for whom I will vote enlightened me about what a scoundrel his leading opponent is. The commercial began with scary and foreboding music, which, quite frankly, was enough right there to settle the thing. Who would vote for a candidate whose reputation is so scurrilous that scary music could be associated with it? If there’s scary music, well, then, he must be a scary guy.

The commercial then informed me that the guy is a hypocritical, backstabbing, conspiratorial meanie who – and this was the piece de resistance – is rich. Stinking rich. If you didn’t already hate rich people, you should now. I just find it unforgivable that rich people who could be doing lots of good in the world instead run around stabbing people in the back and being mean.

I didn’t need to see the television commercial that evening to know I would vote for the guy who did me the inestimable favor of alerting me to this danger confronting the Republic, but it helped. There was the mean backstabber again, all over my television screen, his hypocritical mug displayed in hazy black and white. Black and white. Now, who, I ask, would vote for someone whose character is so execrable that his unsmiling mugshot is rendered in black and white, unlike the brilliant color in which the smiling visage of the guy for whom I will vote was promptly displayed?

Some people think it’s hard to decide between candidates.

I think it’s easy.



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