Konold, Timothy Edward It is with deepest regret that we must inform you, dear peruser of obituaries, of the untimely passing of Timothy Edward Konold at 29 and a half years of age on May 19, 2019. For those who knew him, please accept the humblest of sympathy. For those who never had the pleasure, we express an even greater remorse for that void in your life. Though tragically brief, Tim's time on Earth was rich with experience. From the tender age of three months, Tim was an international traveler, bidding adieu to his Nebraska birthplace and jetting off to Panama before cutting his first tooth. Arguably the least bratty in a family of military brats, Tim enjoyed a foray into Arizona, a romp in Maryland, a stampede through Texas, and a frolic in Washington before the gravitational pull of Offutt Air Force Base landed him back in Nebraska. Tim would spend the majority of his remaining days there in Bellevue, save for a six-month hiatus in New York City that likely centered on visiting landmarks from such cultural treasures as "Seinfeld" and "Home Alone 2." However, the where of his life is nothing compared to the what. Those who knew Tim left every encounter a little smarter having picked up bizarre trivia nuggets regarding the ambulatory habits of the pangolin or the method-acting regimen of Daniel Day Lewis. He seemed to possess endless storage capacity in the super computer of a brain he housed beneath a dense mop of the most enviable curls. Much like this unquenchable thirst for knowledge, Tim's taste in music was expansive and, as he would certainly describe it, impeccable, encompassing multiple eras and genres, though most assuredly never EVER Country. For Tim, Halloween started on September 1st and Christmas commenced immediately upon the conclusion of Trick-or-Treating on October 31st. Tim nurtured a fondness for gourmet cuisine by preparing obscure dishes containing hard-to-procure ingredients and a fair helping of organ meats. Tim, who possessed a hair trigger funny bone and a devastatingly sharp wit, indulged in booming and frequent laughter over corny and cerebral jokes alike. From his early days of allowing his older sisters to conscript his Luke Skywalker and Indiana Jones action figures into dates with Barbie, Tim displayed an unparalleled generosity of spirit. This willingness to give even in the moments when all he had were some thoroughly gnawed toys was symptomatic of his remarkably compassionate soul. But, alas, he was a chewer. Lest anyone think he was perfect, he did chomp on his fingernails with great fervor. The word count required to list all those who departed before Tim and everyone left behind would require at least two more pages so suffice it to say, a whole slew of people loved him dearly and most of them are still kicking. He was Cremated at Kremer Funeral Home in the days after he vacated his mortal coil. His only Memorial are those quirks we remember and those moments we will never forget. Spare a second with those memories, would you? If Tim had a mulligan on this life, he would most certainly carpe the heck out of the diem so, those who knew him and those who weren't so lucky, do that for Tim and everyone else who assumed the days ahead were plentiful. And if you find yourself flush with cash and wanting to memorialize Tim in a more traditional way, he would be positively honored by donations to The Cat House or the Nebraska Humane Society in his name. If you donate to a multi-species animal rescue organization, be sure to allocate funds to the care and maintenance of cats. He would not want his legacy besmirched tending to a yappy fuzzball. Friends, family, and general Tim enthusiasts will Commemorate him at 1518 South 33rd Street on Sunday, September 29th, from 2-6pm.
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