Breaking Brad: Cowboys lineman proposes to Brooke Hogan


Brad Dickson's humor column, "Breaking Brad" appears daily on and in The World-Herald. To read more from Brad, check out his past columns at and follow him on Twitter.

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Brad's afternoon edition. Click here to read his morning edition.

* President Obama has resumed his Hawaiian vacation, where his immediate plans are to sit in one spot and not do a thing. Oh, wonderful – to rub salt in their wounds, now he's doing an impression of a member of the House of Representatives.

* Two streets in downtown Omaha were closed for a fireworks show on New Year's Eve. Never let it be said that Omahans would let 4-degree temperatures and a nearly impenetrable layer of ice on side streets get in the way of a good fireworks show.

* Thousands of people gathered at the Gene Leahy Mall in 4-degree temperatures to watch fireworks. This is expected to be the largest crowd in Omaha until our new Lingerie Football League team plays its first game.

* On New Year's Day, Omaha hosted a 5K "commitment run" for participants to mark their 2013 commitment to fitness. If you're a typical American, that commitment lasted through 1K.

* Georgia defeated the Huskers in the Capital One Bowl. If you're envious, just know that while Omaha is preparing to host the U.S. Figure Skating Championships and the College World Series, and just hosted the Olympic Swim Trials, East Dublin, Ga., will host the Redneck Games on June 1.

* A couple was legally married on a float in the middle of the Rose Parade. Because it's Los Angeles, by the end of the parade they had filed divorce papers.

* The couple was married in the Rose Parade. Even Kim Kardashian and every “Bachelorette” couple that got hitched on TV said, “Oooh, tacky.”

* The Rose Parade included a marching band from China. And before that came every marching band in North America.

* A new U.S. Congress will be sworn in this week. On behalf of most Americans, let me just say to the departing Congress: Don't let the door hit you in the keister on your way out.

* Several tickets for the BCS national championship game have been reported stolen from Notre Dame fans. The thief just better hope the cops get to him before the Notre Dame fans.

* The Philadelphia Eagles fired head coach Andy Reid after 14 seasons. Reid took a moment to thank the greatest fans in the world as Santa dove for cover to escape being pelted with ice balls.

* Syracuse basketball coach Jim Boeheim tied Bob Knight's all-time record for wins with 902. There was one flagrant foul late in the game when Bob Knight tackled Jim Boeheim.

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