If I were to one day win the lottery, there are numerous words I’d use to describe how I'd feel. Words like ”lucky,” “excited” and “terrified” all come to mind.

But one word that wouldn’t occur to me in that situation is “blessed.” I just got extremely lucky.

I view pregnancy as getting lucky, too. You never know if, when and how it will happen. Will you get pregnant right away or never? Will you have a single healthy baby or multiples? Will your baby spend time in the hospital for days or on and off for years to come?

No one will ever know — just like no one knows if they'll ever win the lottery. 

But I've heard the word "blessed" used a lot when it comes to pregnancy and parenthood. Even though I am a religious person, I don't use that word when it comes to parenting because I can't help but think about those parents struggling with infertility. While it's a wonderful word and has no ill-intentions, it could come across as something else to those struggling parents.

Are they not blessed, too? You might say they're unlucky (and they would most likely agree), but I wouldn't say they aren't blessed. Because that simply isn't true. They're just struggling.

We talk about not making pregnancy jokes on April Fool’s Day. We say we need to lift people up instead of making them feel bad in all parts of life. Well, our words are definitely just as strong as our actions and we need to be mindful of them. It's a pretty simple task.

So to the parents out there: I'd ask all of us to think about our word choices when talking or posting online. While we may count our blessings, using the word “blessed” could be particularly painful to someone going through infertility or, really, any hardship in life.

Instead, why not simply say we are lucky to have gotten pregnant? Because I feel extremely lucky to have children at all — and even more so to have the kids I have (as we all do). I was lucky to be born in a safe place and that I can afford to care for my children who I love so much. I'm am so thankful every day for everything in my life. 

Now, I’m off to check on my kids and head to my warm bed because, man, am I lucky.

***

Jaime Wyant is an Omaha native, wife to Bret and mother to Marin and Liam. She writes monthly for Momaha.com. Read more from Jaime here.

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