This year I was going to get serious about my New Year’s resolutions. I bought a shiny planner and colored markers — so you know I was hardcore determined.
But it’s been 16 days. We had a good run, right?
A lot of resolutions look good on paper, but making them stick is nearly impossible. Here are the two that I fall for every dang year. When am I going to learn?
ORGANIZE THE HOUSE
I was really serious about this one. So serious, in fact, that I read two articles online and purchased some storage bins. I was all in for making my house look like something out of the pages of a Pottery Barn catalog, but the hurdle is that it requires time. Lots and lots of time. I spent three hours in my toddler’s room, separating out her toys into storage bins. Barbies in one, dolls in another, kitchen toys in yet another, etc.
I was so proud when I was finished, standing over her bins with my hands on my hips like God surveying his work on the seventh day. JUST LOOK AT WHAT I DID.
Two hours later, my daughter had dumped them all together in a massive pile. If I were of an organized ilk, I would’ve gotten on the floor and worked with the kid to put them back the right way. But come on. There was no way I was putting in even more hours on that project; I’d already wasted three.
That made me survey all the other rooms in the house that were on my to-do list and I ultimately decided to just walk away. People can judge me for not restructuring my closets or throwing out my books — I'm looking at you, Marie Kondo — but the truth is, I just don’t care enough about it to make that kind of a time commitment. My unwillingness to devote countless hours of my life to “binning” up my family’s stuff is a character flaw, I know, but it’s one I can deal with.
WORKOUT EVERY DAY
I blocked out time in my pretty planner to work out — that means I was FOR SURE going to follow through. I’d do it during my toddler’s nap on the weekend and after bedtime on weeknights. The problem with that, though, is that when she’s finally sleeping, there are 3,498 things I want to accomplish in that time slot. I could get on the treadmill, but I also have laundry to do, three stories to write, edits to complete and I kind of hoped to take a shower. I want to start crushing my mile time — or even just take 10 to 15 steps while standing upright — but I definitely want the shower and edits more.
So I attempted to workout with her. She likes her dance class, so I thought she might enjoy joining me as I popped in a ballet workout DVD that would certainly give me the physique of Misty Copeland. My kiddo changed into her sparkly leotard and — holy cow, it was working — worked out with me.
For a solid minute and a half.
Then she decided it was more fun to try and grab my leg every time it was extended. That morphed into her attempting to jump and reach my arms every time they were stretched out over my head. Then she rode me like a horse when I attempted the abdominal portion of the workout.
I haven’t given up on this one yet, but so far, it’s not looking good.
Don’t even get me started on the other biggies — eating healthy and giving up sugar. If I’m giving up anything, it’s resolutions and false promises.
Lynn Kirkle is a writer and lives in Omaha with her husband and five children. She writes twice a month for momaha.com, and can be found on Twitter @LAPainter.