For those of us waiting out the coronavirus while also schooling and/or working from home, the days can get long, repetitive and mind-numbingly boring as we continually ask, “What day is it?” and “It’s time for me to cook again? Already?”
But have no fear, fellow shut-ins. I have ideas!
I asked around and have compiled a collection of things the kiddos are doing — and plan on doing — to offset the monotony. These suggestions come straight from the horses mouths, so please proceed with caution.
1. “If I was bored, I would eat. I would eat everything in the whole, wide world.” — Rory, age 5 (Same, girl. Same. And — spoiler alert — I’ve already started doing this.)
2. “I created a game called wall stick, where I take various household objects and throw them against the wall just to see if they stick.” — Jake, age 20 (I feel like my sons would excel at Jake’s awful game, and I hope they never, ever hear of it.)
3. “I would make a big marshmallow and smoosh it with some chocolate and then burn it in a fire. And eat graham crackers.” — Katie, age 4 (So we’d basically just burn things while eating crackers? Cool.)
4. “I like to count the number of times my mother says “can you do me a favor” in the course of a day. I’m at 10 and it isn’t even lunchtime yet, so that’s how today is going so far.” — Anna, age 17 (Listen, Anna, can you give your mom a break? She’s this close to losing it.)
5. “You can go to the North Mountain in a sled with the mean wolves and try to get past the Marshmallow Monster so you can see Elsa in her ice castle. But she can’t control her magic so you have to take a sword.” — Aubrey, age 3 (Dream on, kid. Until the virus leaves, you’re not traveling anywhere. Wichita, Neverland or the freaking North Mountain of Arendelle; all trips are suspended until further notice. And on a side note: Elsa beats sword every single time, hands down.)
6. “I golfed a full nine holes in my apartment with ping pong balls.” — Tyler, age 23 (I hope Tyler is cool with losing that security deposit.)
7. “I would play with my dog but I don’t have a dog because my mom is allergic so I have to wait until she goes away to get a dog.” — Kate, age 4 (Kate is my kid and it’s starting to make me nervous the way she keeps referring to when I “go away.” Does she know something I don’t know? Did she take a hit out on me? I’m mildly concerned because I have zero plans of going away anytime soon...that I know of.)
8. “I repeatedly throw things at my little brother while yelling “Bronnie.” Entertains me for hours.” — Nate, age 14 (You are causing your mother’s premature grey hairs, Nate.)
9. “I like to play with my brother and sister.” — Easton, age 4 (Replace the word play with fight, and my kids totally agree with Easton.)
These times may be the ultimate test of our parental patience, but take solace in the fact that you are not alone. (Like, ever. It’s literally impossible to be alone anymore.) We’re all in this together, making strange memories that we shall never, ever forget.
Even if we want to.