The Sassy Housewife is a weekly advice column from Momaha.com. We will cover adventures in parenting, relationships and entertaining.
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Dear Sassy Housewife,
I have a very good friend who went through a divorce about eight months ago. She and her ex-husband have two children.
Recently, my friend has been talking to me about the men she's met and the dates she's been going on. I'm not sure why she's so eager to get into a new relationship.
It's obvious her children, who are 7 and 4, are suffering from the divorce. I know one of them is acting out in school. When I am around them, they're loud, get into trouble and talk back to their mom. She yells back at them, but I've never seen her give out any punishment – such as timeout or groundings.
I don't feel my friend is taking very good care of her children right now. Instead, she's focused on finding a new man in her life. I want to speak up, but I know she's going through a lot and I just want to be a good friend.
What should I do?
Dear worried friend,
If you want to be a good friend, then speak up. Your friend might not like hearing what you have to say, but she'll thank you someday.
If she's already interested in finding a new relationship, more power to her I suppose. But it shouldn't come at the expense of her children. I'm sure her kids are still trying to process the idea of their parents being divorced.
I have many friends whose parents divorced when they were young. All of them talked about how difficult it was. Many of them shy away at the idea of marriage. And those who do get married worry about having kids because of the possibility of a divorce from their spouse. None of them want to put a child through that. So I can only imagine suffering through a divorce as a child is awful.
Your friend needs to get her children help. She can try counseling. But just spending time with her children and talking to them openly about their questions and concerns will help.
There will be plenty of time to find a new relationship – but her kids are only young once and they are depending on their mom and dad to be there during this difficult time.
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