UPON FURTHER REVIEW

LAMPOONING THE LATEST


The University of Louisville self-imposed a one-year postseason ban on the men's basketball program. My dream NCAA tournament? One that doesn't include Louisville, but UNO is in.

Companies should keep Louisville in their NCAA tournament office brackets to weed out people who couldn't identify a photo of a basketball but usually still win.

The Nebraska men's basketball team has played better on the road. Idea: Bring back the old NU Coliseum, where opposing players had to adjust to hurdling hay bales at midcourt.

The Creighton men's basketball team upset No. 5 Xavier. This is considered the biggest win ever by a program that won't schedule UNO.

Creighton was led by 32 points from Maurice Watson, possibly Greg McDermott's best recruit ever who he didn't land by threatening to cut the kid's allowance. The 2017 Creighton men's basketball recruiting class is ranked third in the nation by a website. The highest ranking for the current Husker football recruiting class is No. 24. I remember when these would each be a sign of the looming apocalypse.

North Carolina coach Roy Williams is fine after fainting during a game. Apparently, he passed out after hearing a Kentucky player planned to return for his sophomore season.

According to a report, in 2007 the Lakers tried to trade Kobe Bryant for LeBron James. This would have been the first time two NBA teams ever swapped head coaches. A World-Herald fan poll gave the Husker football recruiting class a grade of "B." C'mon, these people are not professional analysts. They lack the training to rank recruits, which consists of ... well, it includes ... OK, the fans have spoken.

Mike Riley fired defensive line coach Hank Hughes. There's a winning bar bet. "Who was able to fire his assistants, lovable Mike Riley or mean Bo Pelini?" Hughes was probably fired because of recruiting. It's now more important to be able to lure 18-year-old guys to campus. Late Tuesday, Nebraska introduced its new defensive line coach, Selena Gomez.

New UCF coach Scott Frost called recruiting "a circus." Jim Harbaugh walked away from the lion tamers, trapeze artists and jugglers at Michigan signing day to call Frost's statement ridiculous.

After the Super Bowl, Peyton Manning called Cam Newton "extremely humble" in defeat. Then Manning went on to refer to Terrell Owens as "reserved" and Bill Belichick as "exuding warmth." After Denver won, first thing Manning did is kiss the president of Papa John's Pizza. I picture Manning's wife clearing her throat. "Uh ... over here, honey?"

How about that awful Super Bowl turf? It was so bad, for a second it looked like a Cox Classic had broken out.

Marshawn Lynch announced he is retiring in a tweet. Knowing Lynch, he had 136 characters left over.

Auditions to sing the national anthem at Storm Chasers games were held at Oak View Mall in front of 11 judges. There are only nine justices on the U.S. Supreme Court, right? Just checking.

A teenager in Sweden used a hover board to pole vault 10 feet. This sounds like something you'd see trotted out on day nine at the Cornhusker State Games.

The Phoenix Waste Management PGA tournament was just held. I hate to even picture that trophy. And finally: At the U.S. Olympic Swim Trials in Omaha, fans will be able to try indoor surfing. Before Omaha got a cannon that fires tacos, I would've considered this a gimmick.

For Brad's latest musings, go to Omaha.com/Dickson

SPORTSWEEK IN PICTURES Creighton, Nebraska and UNO basketball, Maverick hockey, high school sports and more highlight the "Sports Week in Pictures" photo showcase.Omaha.com/sports

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