BREAKING BRAD

LAMPOONING THE LATEST NEWS BY BRAD DICKSON

The path has been cleared for the Henry Doorly Zoo to acquire six elephants. I'm just glad to see the zoo get a large animal. Lately when you hear about a new zoo acquisition, it turns out to be something like an Argentinian hairless field mouse.

The OPS board approved the controversial new sex ed curriculum. Remember when the biggest OPS controversy was whether to upgrade the Latin syllabus?

A pediatrician claims that he has come up with a foolproof method for quieting any crying baby. If he does indeed have a method for quieting crying babies, he's done more for aviation than the Wright brothers.

The Nebraska Legislature suggested a novel idea to pay off the national debt: Raise the cigarette tax to $23 million per pack.

Washington, D.C., received over 20 inches of snow. Conditions were so brutal that over the weekend that President Barack Obama was able to squeeze in only two rounds of golf.

After the winter storm in Washington, nothing is moving, nobody is getting anything done, Congress is paralyzed. So things are already back to normal.

For Brad's latest musings, go to Omaha.com/Dickson

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