BREAKING BRAD

Pothole repair is underway in Omaha. Let's see, there's painting the Sistine Chapel ceiling. Chiseling Mount Rushmore. Erecting the Egyptian pyramids. And now, the most ambitious project of all: fixing Omaha potholes.

A southbound curb lane of 78th Street in Omaha is closing for two weeks for fiber optics installation. So to be safe, if you're going that way, drive on the sidewalk.

Warren Buffett is going to be a judge on "Celebrity Apprentice." A tip to would-be contestants: Walk out and hand the judge a Dilly Bar.

The Omaha City Council approved a proposal to spend $3.1 million to demolish the Civic Auditorium. Frustrated Ralston officials: "Uh, how much extra to demolish the Ralston Arena?"

OPS is considering the use of metal detectors and gun-sniffing dogs. But remember, kids, these are the best years of your life.

A scientist has created a "new and improved selfie stick." Instead of inventing new selfie sticks, we should be destroying the existing ones.

For Brad's latest musings, go to Omaha.com/Dickson

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