brad_dickson

Brad Dickson's humor column, "Breaking Brad," appears daily on Omaha.com and in The World-Herald. To read more from Brad, check out his past columns at omaha.com/brad and follow him on Twitter.

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Brad's afternoon edition. Click here to read his morning jokes.

* The Tuesday forecast for Omaha: "Not as windy as Monday." The worst solar storm on the surface of the sun is not as windy as it was Monday in Omaha.

* Omaha officials claim they received reports of 500 potholes in January. Five hundred potholes? That sounds like the average Omaha intersection.

* The new American male sex symbol is ... Clete Blakeman?

* Twitter stock recently fell to an all-time low. It's gotten to the point where you get 20 retweets and they give you a share.

* Facebook just turned 12 years old. I'd post my favorite Facebook photos if I had any.

* In the dark ages, before Facebook, people had to lead their own lives instead of spending all day reading about the lives of strangers.

* Young people may not believe this, but there was a time before Facebook when people did not waste pretty much their entire lives looking at photos posted by people they will never meet.

* A European filmmaker has produced a movie featuring nothing but paint drying. This was still more exciting than Sunday's Super Bowl.

* Peyton Manning called Cam Newton "extremely humble" in defeat. This is a mandatory concussion protocol for Manning, right?

* After the Super Bowl, Peyton Manning kept talking about Budweiser. He's basically a spokesman for Budweiser. So does this mean Eli Manning is promoting Bud Lite?

* Ronda Rousey played a bar bouncer in a Super Bowl commercial. Bouncer Ronda Rousey's worst nightmare? Rowdy patron Holly Holm.

* Two days after Coldplay's halftime performance, half of Americans still think it was Maroon 5.

* A dangerous type of heroin is being found in Massachusetts. Of course this is opposed to the normal, healthy heroin.

* According to a study, the air your breathe in your office can make you dumber. I was pretty sure that it was the YouTube cat videos doing that.

* The air you breathe in the office can make you dumber. Just not dumb enough to believe this study.

* I was thinking about recent Super Bowl traditions. The opening coin flip, the halftime extravaganza, the current investigation of the winning team’s star quarterback ...

* Shaquille O’Neal claims he was paid at LSU. It’s not a big deal. He was only paid for made free throws and it amounted to $7.

* The NBA All-Star Game is being played in Canada. So Ted Cruz will call the winner’s locker room?

* Pete Rose will be inducted into the Cincinnati Reds Hall of Fame. At this point Rose would take the Bobblehead Hall of Fame.

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