brad_dickson

Brad Dickson's humor column, "Breaking Brad," appears daily on Omaha.com and in The World-Herald. To read more from Brad, check out his past columns at omaha.com/brad and follow him on Twitter.

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Brad's afternoon edition. Click here to read his morning jokes.

* After the pretty heavy snowfall we've had this winter, Thursday's predicted high in Omaha is 65 degrees. I plan to spend the day standing on the shoulder of West Maple Road watching potholes form.

* This is the time of year in Omaha when I turn around and bump into six fish fries.

* MECA showed a profit of $3.1 million in the last fiscal year. Which is the exact price of six large popcorns and four hot dogs sold at the CenturyLink Center concession stand.

* A German shorthaired pointer named CJ won Best in Show at the 2016 Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show. As if there isn't enough taunting in politics and sports, the other competitors have to endure the winner pointing to his trophy.

* True fact: The winner of the Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show gets a steak dinner at Sardi's a Manhattan steakhouse. When I was in New York City last summer I couldn't get into that restaurant.

* On the heels of Presidents Day I had this thought: None of the current candidates for president will ever have a "day."

* According to Bloomberg News, the presidential campaign has degenerated into name-calling, counter-charges and vulgarity. OK, now it's getting good.

* Donald Trump called Ted Cruz unstable. That's today's pot-kettle contest.

* Hillary Clinton just barked like a dog while campaigning in Reno. There's no way footage of this could ever come back to haunt her.

* UNO hockey is in the midst of a three-week homestand at Baxter Arena. That's so long that officials are bringing in a backup taco cannon for insurance.

* Marshall Manning is the newest cute athlete kid getting all the publicity. Has anyone told Steph Curry’s daughter it’s over yet?

* Every member of an Australian rules football team was suspended for doping. In the U.S. we call that “Major League Baseball in the 1980s.”

* For the first time since 2007, the Duke men’s basketball team fell out of the AP top 25. Nebraska football fans: “We feel your pain.”

* Chase Elliott, 20, became the youngest driver to win the pole position at the Daytona 500. Can someone remind him: no texting?

* A woman ran a marathon on seven continents in seven days. OK, I don’t want to hear about anyone at a business meeting complaining about jet lag.

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