In Dubuque, Iowa, a man was arrested for DUI with a small zebra and a parrot in his trunk. I'd be happy if I could fit a standard-size spare tire in my trunk.

The Nickelback concert in Omaha on Tuesday night featured strobe lights, shooting flames and advanced pyrotechnics. Or, as that'll be called at the CenturyLink Center in about a month, "the 100-meter breaststroke."

Mitt Romney is now implying that there's a personal beef between President Obama and Bill Clinton. Surely the two men can come together over their common ground. One guy can't find his birth certificate, and the other keeps forgetting he has a marriage license.

Actress Betty White stars in a new campaign commercial for Rep. Howard Berman. She's perfect: At age 90, White was actually alive when Congress had its last accomplishment.

A "psychic pig" is now predicting the outcome of European soccer matches. I wonder if this is the same psychic pig that helped Morgan Stanley figure out an accurate price for the Facebook IPO.

There's a new gift trend for grads: breast implants. Let me be the first to point out that a society full of college graduates who owe 80 grand in student loans but own their implants free and clear is almost certainly on the brink of collapse.

The fire alarm at a Connecticut high school was triggered because a student applied too much body spray. Sign No. 1 you went a little heavy on the body spray: 2,000 people are evacuated.

Brad Dickson's humor column, "Breaking Brad" appears daily on Omaha.com and in The World-Herald. To read more from Brad, check out his past columns at omaha.com/dickson and follow him on Twitter.

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Brad Dickson's humor column, "Breaking Brad" appears daily on Omaha.com and in The World-Herald. To read more from Brad, check out his past columns at omaha.com/dickson and follow him on Twitter.

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A NASA spacecraft launched in 1977 has reached the edge of our solar system. It just passed some officials scouting a potential site for a first-round NCAA tournament game next year for the Creighton basketball team.

At the Lingerie Football League All-Star game, the rival coaches got into a brawl. I only hope this doesn't make people start to think that the league where players wearing underwear tackle each other can be a little tacky.

Friday's Facebook IPO is expected to earn some Facebook executives $10 billion. To put it in perspective, it takes JPMorgan Chase over an hour to lose that kind of money.

Sixty-nine people have applied to be the next police chief of Omaha. The applicants can relax - with the turnover in Omaha police chiefs, they'll all get a chance.

It is now legal to hunt Bigfoot in Texas. Who says the Texas legal system is antiquated?