"Black Friday shopping is one of the few societal holiday traditions I just can’t seem to get on board with. As hard as I’ve tried to make sense of it, I’ve never understood waking up at the butt-crack of dawn to fight people for a few deals."

"We make sure our kids eat their vegetables, but how often do we get the recommended serving? We take our kids to every sports practice known to man, but somehow we can’t manage to squeeze in a 30 minute walk for ourselves."

"The kid whose knee was in my ear a few hours prior because she couldn’t bear to sleep away from me was sharing a Hallmark moment with someone else? And he was getting the good version — she was laughing and sweet for him, not the whining snot monster who’d coughed in my face all night long — which was totally unfair."

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