Omaha.com: Columnists

Columnists

Breaking Brad: Yay for more Omaha water main breaks, GM recalls

The old adage about the only things certain in life being death and taxes has been amended. It now reads, "The only things certain in life are death, taxes and GM recalls."

Breaking Brad: If you need an excuse to not clean up your dog's feces...

In New Mexico, a man cleaning up dog poop was mistaken for a burglar by police. That shows you how often people in this nation clean up after their dog. "Hey, what's that guy doing?" "Stealing dog poop? We better arrest him."

Breaking Brad: 'We Don't Coast'? More like, 'We Don't Get It'

The Greater Omaha Chamber of Commerce's new slogan for Omaha is "We Don’t Coast." To which a chorus of dazed Omahans replied, "We Don't Get It."

Breaking Brad: Omaha's 'We Don't Coast' slogan will have far-reaching implications

* The new Greater Omaha Chamber of Commerce slogan, "We Don't Coast," is being painted on city sidewalks. Great, now when it snows, nobody's gonna want to shovel and see that.

Breaking Brad: It's so hot in Omaha that ...

The heat is back. It’s so hot in Omaha that Paul McCartney returned to eCreamery just to lie across the freezer.

Hansen: Don't let Jeff — the problem worker — slide, workplace guru says

The biggest problem in your workplace is not the fact that you are overworked, even though you are probably overworked. The biggest problem in your workplace has a name. His name is Jeff.

Kelly: Omaha business consultants have gone the distance for their clients

A couple of Omaha business consultants have racked up quite a few frequent-flier miles — including 55 trips to Russia and 20 to China.

FROM THE NOTEBOOK

Kelly: Navy band’s Jazz on the Green concert irks rep of local musicians

       » “Navy Night” drew a big and appreciative crowd Thursday to Jazz on the Green, but the appearance of a Navy band has caused a protest on behalf of civilian musicians.

HUMOR

Dickson's Week in Review, July 13-19

Husker fans are questioning why Bo Pelini chose Corey Cooper to speak for the defense at Big Ten media days instead of Randy Gregory. If you’re keeping score, the season doesn’t begin for six weeks and Bo’s already being second-guessed.

Breaking Brad: Happy BTN Husker Day!

Friday is Husker Day on BTN. Nothing but Husker sports for 24 consecutive hours. By 4 a.m., you can look for the 1974 cross country dual meet between NU and the Colorado School of Mines.

Breaking Brad: I guess I can't coast, whatever that means

The Greater Omaha Chamber of Commerce has introduced a new campaign slogan: "We Don't Coast." After hearing this, five residential districts in favor of being annexed by the city suddenly changed their minds.

Breaking Brad: Husker games might as well air on ESPN 8 The Ocho

Two of the first three Husker football games this fall will air on ESPNU and the CBS Sports Network. Right now, Husker fans are scrolling through their Cox Cable lineup. "Channel 153, HGTV ... no. Channel 154, the Groundhog Cam Channel ... no."

Breaking Brad: Why I gave Mona Lisa a mustache

Omaha artist Laura Carlson has invited the public to finish her paintings in a display at the downtown library. It's the same basic idea Omaha traffic engineers use: "We start the roadwork, you finish it."

Breaking Brad: Did you guys catch that 4-hour Derek Jeter tribute?

The best part of the MLB All-Star Game was the way they managed to work in a few minutes of baseball between shots of Jeter's girlfriend in the stands.

Breaking Brad: City Council approves fee hike. I'm stunned.

The Omaha City Council puppets, I mean members, unanimously approved raising sewer fees by 45 percent. Not only that, but as is their wont, the council then gave the increase a standing ovation.

Grace: Amid sorrow and loss, victims of Pilger storm choose to be grateful

It has been two steps backward, one tiny step forward, in the month since a deadly tornado upended so many lives in this Nebraska community.

Breaking Brad: What do Sir Paul and Justin Bieber have in common? Nothing.

At Pinnacle Bank Arena on Monday, Sir Paul McCartney sang 39 songs. Contrast that with Justin Bieber's Omaha concert, when he sang the same song 39 times.

Breaking Brad: Sorry, LeBron, but Cleveland's part of Omaha now

Omahans are stoked about LeBron James' decision, seeing as how Mayor Jean Stothert is planning to annex Cleveland.

Breaking Brad: Sir Paul and Warren Buffett have ice cream together? Why report on anything else?

Please be patient. The Omaha media will report on the news of the day just as soon as it's finished informing us what flavor of ice cream and how many scoops Paul McCartney ordered Sunday night at eCreamery.

Breaking Brad: Heineman shows off new plane at governors conference

Gov. Dave Heineman just attended the National Governors Association's conference in Nashville. Heineman may not have the best ideas, but at least he probably rolled up in the most expensive plane.

FROM THE NOTEBOOK

Kelly: Drum and bugle corps moves from the field to the big screen

       » The stirring sounds and precision marching of seven top drum and bugle corps will come to Omaha on Monday, and Mac Smith knows the experience from the inside out.


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