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Brad's afternoon edition. Click here to read his morning jokes.
* This weekend, more than 2,000 people are expected to participate in the eight annual "Trek Up The Tower" in Omaha. It's a race that goes straight up; it's sometimes called "The Anti Lincoln Marathon."
* The Omaha forecast calls for warm weather followed by cold weather. Stop me if you've heard this 93 times already this winter.
* The annual Girl Scout Cookie drive is under way. So, if you hear a battering ram at your front door, there's an explanation.
* I read an article about how there's a resurgence in moats being built around upscale homes. I'd like to think there's no connection between the two, but I know better.
* Miley Cyrus has kicked off her North American "Bangerz" tour. For the first time in my life, I wish I lived elsewhere.
* You thought a lot of states were threatening to secede before...
* Miley will be traveling the country on top of a wrecking ball.
* A bobsled gold medal was decided by 0.10 second. To put it in perspective, that's the length of time between Justin Bieber scandals.
* There's a figure skating controversy at the Winter Olympics, supposedly due to a judge who has no place judging Olympic competition. But it was nice seeing Tonya Harding again.
* In excess of 1.5 million people have signed petitions protesting Winter Olympic figure skating judging. I won't say what the Russians did with the petitions, but their toilet paper shortage has been solved.
* The biggest, bitterest rivalry in Sochi is winding down. Of course I'm talking about the ratings war between "Today" and "Good Morning America."
* An unnamed German athlete has failed a drug test. There's no excuse for taking performance-enhancing drugs unless it's to stay awake while watching curling.
* Someone has to say this: Curling is the beer pong of the Winter Olympic Games.
* Breaking news: The fire marshal was called in after the number of people on board the Husker men's basketball bandwagon exceeded capacity.
* Shawn Eichorst is among the country's highest-compensated athletic directors. Instead of future UNL tuition increases, maybe it's time to start paying him per word.
* A German ping-pong champion will play a robot. Finally, after two and a half weeks of curling and slopestyle, we get to watch a real sport.
* A cheerleader at a Mississippi college sank a half-court shot while performing a handspring. I didn't know Ethan Wragge had a sister.