Breaking Brad: Dude, you better not spoil 'House of Cards' - Omaha.com
Published Friday, February 14, 2014 at 1:30 pm / Updated at 2:27 pm
Breaking Brad: Dude, you better not spoil 'House of Cards'

Brad Dickson's humor column, "Breaking Brad," appears daily on Omaha.com and in The World-Herald. To read more from Brad, check out his past columns at omaha.com/dickson and follow him on Twitter.

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Brad's afternoon edition. Click here to read Brad's morning jokes.

* After the temperature reached 51 degrees in Omaha on Thursday, it snowed Thursday night. If you're keeping track, spring in Omaha lasted about four hours.

* Here's a good indication your relationship is in trouble: your significant other blows off Valentine's Day dinner to watch Olympic curling.

* Ah, love in 2014. The average young American sent his valentine a romantic tweet, followed by a sensual Instagram photo, a flirtatious Snapchat picture and then a Facebook post expressing hope that maybe one day they can actually meet.

* A sheriff in a northern Georgia county canceled Valentine's Day. This ought to be enough to win the men's vote in the next election.

* Clay Aiken is running for Congress in North Carolina. He's expected to receive lots of votes from people who'd just like to see a former "American Idol" runner-up who has a job.

* Aiken is running on a platform that the current Congress is dysfunctional. You know Washington, D.C., is a mess when the guy who lost to Ruben Studdard sounds like the voice of reason.

* I wouldn't say Aiken is alleged to have had a lot of plastic surgery, but he threw his nose into the ring.

* The big story: Vladimir Putin paid a surprise visit to the U.S. Olympic team. Well, he stopped by to pick up his cameras from the restrooms.

* Putin left after realizing nobody had a Super Bowl ring to trade.

* The weather is so warm in Sochi, the Finland men's hockey team rode bicycles to a game. You things are topsy-turvy when commuters in Atlanta are traveling on luges.

* The other networks have given up trying to program opposite NBC's coverage of the Winter Olympics. Last night, ABC just showed some guy's Facebook look back video.

* During every Winter Olympics, people reflect on the Miracle on Ice, which, for me, was that time I drove to work in 16 inches of snow in my Ford Maverick.

* Sochi City Hall has ordered the killing of stray dogs during the Winter Olympics. Before the next Olympics, can we check to make sure that the host city has a moral compass from this century?

* My national pride is surging after the U.S. swept the slopestyle, whatever that is.

* President Obama took to Twitter to urge that no one spoil the ending of "House of Cards." Apparently we paid off the national debt and Obamacare is now perfect?

Want more Brad? Scroll through his author archive here.

Contact the writer: Brad Dickson

brad.dickson@owh.com    |   402-444-1019    |  

Brad comments in a funny way on topical events in the news and the wide world of sports.

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