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Brad's morning edition. Check back this afternoon for more jokes from Brad.
* Planning is under way for Nebraska's 150th birthday in three years. There are plans for a $2 million celebration. Better idea: Cancel the whole thing and give us a $2 million rebate on property taxes.
* The Nebraska Legislature is already planning the celebration for three years from now. The one time members think ahead...
* Starting Tuesday, a lane at 84th and Dodge Streets is closed for one week for fiber optics work. I'm trying to confirm that, after thinking this one up, a city employee ran down the corridor shouting: "A new reason to close streets! A new reason to close streets!"
* Closing a single lane at 84th and Dodge doesn't sound like much, but this will back up traffic to Pueblo, Colo.
* On Interstate 80 in Nebraska, a motorist was busted for allegedly carrying 100 pounds of marijuana. I'm thinking the drug-sniffing dogs got so excited, they fainted.
* The accused was a St. Louis man. If you took all the marijuana from the busts along Interstate 80 in Nebraska in a six-month period, it would reach the top of the Gateway Arch.
* There's online video of a man on a motorcycle doing a wheelie at 109.5 mph. It's unclear if he's a sportsman, an adventurer or a typical Omaha winter commuter.
* A Texas man who claims to have killed Bigfoot is headed on tour with the corpse. It sounds like we found an event Omaha's Civic Auditorium and Lincoln's Pershing Center will be dueling over.
* A Missouri state representative introduced a proposal to make the "high-five" the official state greeting. It's moments like this when the Nebraska Legislature doesn't seem all that dumb.
* A Des Moines man is trying to get his house off the meth lab registry. Sure, someday he's going to list that house for sale, and let's face it -- no matter how updated your kitchen appliances...
* President Obama hosted a state dinner for French President Francois Hollande on Tuesday. I'm trying to confirm Obama said it was nice being able to look Hollande in the eyes, rather than eavesdropping on his cellphone calls.
* Guests at the state dinner dined on caviar, aged beef and fine wine. When you look at the economic condition of this country, they should have called Jimmy John's.
* State television in Tehran reported Iran has successfully test-fired a long-range missile. Take this with a grain of salt, because then state television reported that Iran has won every medal at the Winter Olympics.
* One new event at the Winter Olympics is the team short dance. Or, as true red-blooded Americans sports fans call it, the "not-short-enough dance."
* A U.S. bobsledder got locked in his Olympic Village bathroom and had to break the door down. The Kremlin is reviewing its tape of the incident.