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Brad's morning edition. Check back this afternoon for more jokes from Brad.
* At the AFC championship game, the Omaha Convention & Visitors Bureau carried Peyton Manning off the field. Then it had to bring him back because it was only the third quarter.
* Apparently, Manning couldn't get a restraining order against the chamber of commerce in time?
* I wouldn't say the city is geeked about the “Omaha” snap chant thing, but Mike Fahey Street Is now Peyton Manning Boulevard.
* A 55-year-old man in Germany claims to be a human magnet. This is like something you'd pay three bucks to see at Septemberfest.
* There's a new thing called WeedMaps in Colorado to find all the recreational marijuana shops. Of course, the real marijuana enthusiasts in Colorado are investing in a drug-sniffing dog.
* Some Iowa State students designed an app to track butterflies. It's nice to see one major university addressing the big problems plaguing the world.
* Kraft is running low on Velveeta, and Twitter users are warning of a “cheesepocalypse.” Hey, everything will be OK just so there's never a baconageddon.
* Chris Christie's office accused MSNBC of being partisan. MSNBC executives said they'd have no comment until they get back from doing The Dougie at Michelle Obama's birthday party.
* In an interview with the New Yorker, President Obama said marijuana is no more dangerous than alcohol. So while he missed out on the Time magazine honor, look for Obama to be named “Person of the Year” by High Times.
* President Obama just sat for an interview with the New Yorker to reach out to average Americans. I might have suggested Parade Magazine instead.
* Michelle Obama turned 50 on Friday. Something like 300 celebrities gathered at the White House. So apparently Mrs. Obama didn't do anything special.
* Saturday night was the SAG Awards and Michelle Obama's 50th birthday party. The difference is there were more celebrities at Obama's party.
* The Seahawks reached the Super Bowl on a late interception by Malcolm Smith. This is undoubtedly the greatest athletic achievement of the modern era by anyone named “Malcolm.”
* The Seattle Seahawks refused to sell tickets to anyone with a California address. Officials in Russia took time out from preparing for the Sochi Olympics to call this a human rights violation.
* Alex Rodriguez has been suspended for 162 games. You know what 162 games is called in college football? “Bowl season.”
* The Chicago Cubs introduced their first mascot in over 100 years, Clark the Cub. After getting a look at Clark, I think 100 years is too soon.