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Brad's morning edition. Check back this afternoon for more jokes from Brad.
* China just landed a probe on the moon and Iran announced that it successfully launched a second monkey into space. OK, Iran, your timing could be better.
* Iran has launched a monkey into space for the second time. I’m slightly less concerned about the nuclear threat from Iran than I was before I typed that sentence.
* This means we pretty much only have to worry about a nuclear threat from Iran if someone invents a warhead capable of being operated by a chimpanzee.
* All I have to say is, it’s a sad day when Texas football coach Mack Brown is forced out and the mayor of Toronto still has a job.
* According to a Texas newspaper, someone representing NU purportedly sent a feeler to Mack Brown’s agent. Someone representing NU? That could have been Fake Bo Pelini.
* In a text to the World-Herald Shawn Eichorst wrote, “Deny!” So Eichorst is starting to communicate. Next month, maybe two words to the media.
* Beginning Monday, one lane of 192nd street is closed for a week. Extending from downtown to 192nd Street, Omaha traffic engineers have essentially created a “Great Wall of Orange Traffic Barrels.”
* If traffic engineers go any further west they’ll have to close Fremont.
* After a months-long study the committee studying taxes in Nebraska concluded no major changes are needed. On Monday, committee members were gonna hold a luncheon but nobody could afford the restaurant tax.
* In the interest of time, the World-Herald is only going to begin printing the names of citizens who are not running for governor of Nebraska.
* Omaha attorney and Republican Bryan Slone announced he’s a candidate for governor. He won a door prize as the 1,000th Republican to enter the race.
* On Sunday the Ugly Sweater 5K was held in Omaha. There’s a good way to offend a sales clerk. “I’m looking for something to wear in the Ugly Sweater run.”
* There's video of a new Korean vehicle that can be folded in half. Finally, one car cut out for the Omaha emergency snow parking policy. If you’re on the wrong side of the street you simply crease the car and move it to the other side.
* Per CNN: The odds of any one ticket winning this week’s Mega Millions $550 million drawing are equal to being killed in a vending machine accident. If that doesn’t put it into perspective I don’t know what does.
* “Christmas In Washington” includes a performance by the Backstreet Boys. This proves the Obama jobs plan is working — he even created a gig for the Backstreet Boys.
* Sen. Ted Cruz wrote an op-ed for USA Today about Obamacare. Nobody spoil the surprise, I can’t wait to see if Cruz is pro or con.
* Other members of the current Congress say they don’t like to read, but if Cruz is willing to turn his op-ed into a colorful USA Today pie chart they’ll take a look.
* The print edition of Newsweek magazine is returning. I thought there were better odds of finding a living T Rex.
* New York Gov. Andrew Cuomo was recently interviewed by his brother, CNN reporter Chris Cuomo. Just when you think there’s no way CNN can make the questions for Democratic politicians any more softball-ish, they bring in the brother.