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Brad's morning edition. Check back this afternoon for more jokes from Brad.
* Breaking news: Pete Festersen is still out of the U.S. second-district congressional race. We'll update you immediately if that changes.
* It's sad when a guy drops out of the race before all the campaign signs are back from the printers.
* Omaha woke up to a half-inch of new snow on Wednesday morning. Or, if you followed the forecast, a half-inch of "partly cloudy."
* An Omaha contractor is offering a $1,000 reward for the return of his stolen truck and snowplow. I'm pretty sure this was the plow that was supposed to clear my side street after Sunday's snow and still hasn't shown up.
* With Mayor Jean Stothert's frugality, the official Omaha side street snow removal plan appears to be "spring."
* A moose is on the loose in Iowa. It's a strange day when news bulletins sound like they were written by Dr. Seuss.
* The moose has traveled all across Iowa, from north to south. Wait just a second. I think that moose must be running for president.
* Here's my plan: I'm going to drive a Winnebago to Nebraska Crossing Outlets, so I have a place to live while I look for parking.
* This year, you can buy a Santa suit for your pet Guinea pig. I was sitting around late Christmas night last year, thinking: "You know what's missing? A Santa suit for Gomer my Guinea pig."
* You know you're overdoing the holidays when your Guinea pig is running around in a Santa suit.
* Just when you thought nothing could be worse than those rubber reindeer ears for cats.
* Odd but true: UNL sponsored a contest to develop edible vehicles Tuesday. This means that, in the future, after Jimmy John's drops off your sandwiches, you can eat the delivery car.
* Pope Francis was named Time magazine's "Person of the Year." It's unofficial. Miley Cyrus is demanding a recount.
* For Time magazine's "Person of the Year," the pope defeated nine other finalists, including Miley Cyrus. If it had gone the other way, I'd be packing to move to Canada.
* Ladies and gentlemen, we now live in a world where twerking is granted equal status to ending war and famine.
* Newsweek's "Person of the Year" is ... well, we won't know until someone reads Newsweek. This could take months.
* CBS aired the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show on Tuesday. This is a fashion show in the same sense that Miss America is a scholarship pageant.