I'd like to clear up some confusion. The people attending Bottom 10 games during the weekend with paper bags over their heads had nothing to do with Halloween.
1. Miami (OHio) (0-8): On Saturday, the RedHawks got Solich-ed by Ohio 41-16.
2. Connecticut (0-7): UConn continues to struggle with its bend and break defense.
3. Massachusetts (1-7): If College GameDay had any interest in Bottom 10 teams (and frankly it'd be a nice change of pace), it should have been on hand for Western Michigan vs. Massachusetts on Saturday. Previously winless Western Michigan prevailed 31-30 in what may have been the best college game all weekend. Seriously.
4. Southern Mississippi (0-7): It only seems like the Golden Eagles last won when Lyndon Johnson was in the White House.
5. Georgia State (0-8): The Panthers have moved on to the part of their schedule where they lose to teams many Americans have never heard of — this week to UL-Monroe 38-10.
6. Temple (1-7): The Owls lost to SMU 59-49 Saturday in a game that was almost as physical as your average Big East basketball practice.
7. Hawaii (0-7): Rainbow Warriors' players and fans will be happy to say “aloha” to this season.
8. California (1-7): One problem in Berkeley is the defense being more concerned with the Democrats regaining control of the House of Representatives than in defeating Washington University.
9. Eastern Michigan (1-7): The official word is that the school's eagle mascot flew south for the winter. I guess that sounds better than “escaped.”
10. UTEP (1-6): Earlier this season, UTEP coach Sean Kugler laid down the law to his team. Unfortunately, it was Murphy's Law.
Others receiving votes: Idaho, FIU, Air Force, the BCS, Mike Leach, Josh Freeman, Minnesota Vikings coaches, Twitter, North Korea, Dennis Rodman, Affordable Care Act website, my Saturday “Win one for the Gopher” tweet, Halloween, the filthy Gene Leahy Mall, Kentucky.