Breaking Brad: John Daly has some advice for Miley Cyrus -
Published Wednesday, October 16, 2013 at 1:31 pm / Updated at 1:52 pm
Breaking Brad: John Daly has some advice for Miley Cyrus

Brad Dickson's humor column, "Breaking Brad," appears daily on and in The World-Herald. To read more from Brad, check out his past columns at and follow him on Twitter.

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Brad's afternoon edition. Click here to read Brad's morning jokes.

* The unthinkable has occurred in Washington, D.C.: Democrats and Republicans agreed on something.

* At the eleventh hour, it appears the U.S. Senate has struck a deal to reopen the government and avoid defaulting on our debt. The deal becomes official after the president signs it and Ted Cruz is untied and released from the Senate cloak room.

* Both sides still have to sign the deal. I'd just like to remind everybody: Beware of invisible ink.

* Next time we have a stalemate like this, let's bring in some more reasonable Americans to settle it. I'm thinking Ted Nugent and Hank Williams Jr.

* As of Wednesday afternoon, the House had yet to consider the Senate plan to end the partial government shutdown. A House vote between 5 and 6 p.m was, of course, out of the question. That's happy hour.

* Iran and the U.S. are reportedly inching toward a nuclear weapons agreement. What does it say about our elected leaders when negotiations with Iran go smoother than those between Republicans and Democrats?

* There's lingering controversy over reports that Condoleezza Rice will serve on the college football playoff committee. The biggest concern is that the final four will consist of Ohio State, Alabama, Oregon and the Bush Family Touch Football Team.

* Halloween costumes for kids this year include the “Hooters Girl” and “Baby Pimp.” I remember when I was a kid -- one year, I went as Benjamin Franklin. What ever happened to costumes like that?

* Tropical Storm Octave may be headed toward Baja, Calif. It's going toward the right place; “Octave” sounds like something a celebrity would name their kid.

* The ABC show “Lucky 7" has been canceled after two episodes. What -- did network executives hate the theme song?

* John Daly has some advice for Miley Cyrus. On a scale of role models for a 19-year-old, you can do worse than John Daly -- no, wait, actually, you can't.

* Terrell Suggs said NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell was behind the Super Bowl blackout that halted play. Is there any way we can send Goodell to the next bowl game that features two 6-7 teams?

* The new trend in college football: students bringing photographs of large celebrity heads to games and waving them. Hey, let the rest of the world surpass us in math and science scores; our young lead in what really counts: big celebrity heads.

* Danica Patrick has been named to co-host the American Country Music Awards. Is that a good idea? Exposing Danica to all those people who have actually won something?

Also from Brad: It's the final countdown ... again!

Contact the writer: Brad Dickson    |   402-444-1019    |  

Brad comments in a funny way on topical events in the news and the wide world of sports.

Attorney: Man accused of trying to open plane's door needs psychiatric evaluation
49-year-old sentenced to 40-50 years for attempted sex assault of child
Brothers looking for pot sentenced for violent home invasion
At Boys Town panel, experts stress it's never too early to educate children
Kelly: New $24M UNO center embodies spirit of newlywed crash victim
Gov. Heineman calls 2014 a 'very good year for Nebraska taxpayers'
Ex-Iowan behind landmark free speech case recounts story in Bellevue
Arrest made in teen's shooting death at Benson's Gallagher Park
Section of 50th Street to close for bridge demolition
Nikko Jenkins found guilty of 4 murders
Rather than doing $250K in repairs, owner who lives in lot behind 94-year-old house in Dundee razes it
Plans for new $16M YMCA in Council Bluffs at 'critical juncture'
Woodmen request would take nearly $40M in valuation from tax rolls
With fixed AC, Fort Calhoun's nuclear station ends brief shutdown
Windy day could make driving difficult on east-west roads
Richard Brown steps down as Charles Drew Health Center CEO
High school slam poets don't just recite verses, 'they leave their hearts beating on the stage'
OPD safety expo set for April 26
Database: How much did Medicare pay your doctor?
Crew working to disassemble International Nutrition plant
New public employee pay data: Douglas, Lancaster, Sarpy Counties, plus utilities
18-year-old arrested in stolen-car case
U.S. Senate candidate Bart McLeay trails his 3 GOP rivals in fundraising
86-year-old Holdrege man killed in weekend collision
New police gang intervention specialist knows firsthand about getting involved with wrong crowd
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Kelly: New $24M UNO center embodies spirit of newlywed crash victim
Jessica Lutton Bedient was killed by a drunken driver at age 26 in 2010. Thursday, the widowed husband and other family members will gather with others at the University of Nebraska at Omaha to dedicate a permanent memorial to Jessica.
Breaking Brad: How much would you pay for a corn dog?
The Arizona Diamondbacks have a new concession item: a $25 corn dog. For that kind of money, it should be stuffed with Bitcoin.
Breaking Brad: Pothole repair crew gets stuck in a pothole
In East Lansing, Mich., a pothole repair crew got stuck inside a pothole. How did this not happen in Omaha?
Breaking Brad: What do the moon, Colorado senators have in common?
How about that "blood red" moon Monday? It was as red as the eyes of a Colorado legislator.
Breaking Brad: Hey, Republicans, are you ready to be audited?
A quick list of audit red flags: 3) You fail to sign your return. 2) You fail to report income. 1) You are a registered Republican.
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