Breaking Brad: John Daly has some advice for Miley Cyrus - Omaha.com
Published Wednesday, October 16, 2013 at 1:31 pm / Updated at 1:52 pm
Breaking Brad: John Daly has some advice for Miley Cyrus

Brad Dickson's humor column, "Breaking Brad," appears daily on Omaha.com and in The World-Herald. To read more from Brad, check out his past columns at omaha.com/dickson and follow him on Twitter.

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Brad's afternoon edition. Click here to read Brad's morning jokes.

* The unthinkable has occurred in Washington, D.C.: Democrats and Republicans agreed on something.

* At the eleventh hour, it appears the U.S. Senate has struck a deal to reopen the government and avoid defaulting on our debt. The deal becomes official after the president signs it and Ted Cruz is untied and released from the Senate cloak room.

* Both sides still have to sign the deal. I'd just like to remind everybody: Beware of invisible ink.

* Next time we have a stalemate like this, let's bring in some more reasonable Americans to settle it. I'm thinking Ted Nugent and Hank Williams Jr.

* As of Wednesday afternoon, the House had yet to consider the Senate plan to end the partial government shutdown. A House vote between 5 and 6 p.m was, of course, out of the question. That's happy hour.

* Iran and the U.S. are reportedly inching toward a nuclear weapons agreement. What does it say about our elected leaders when negotiations with Iran go smoother than those between Republicans and Democrats?

* There's lingering controversy over reports that Condoleezza Rice will serve on the college football playoff committee. The biggest concern is that the final four will consist of Ohio State, Alabama, Oregon and the Bush Family Touch Football Team.

* Halloween costumes for kids this year include the “Hooters Girl” and “Baby Pimp.” I remember when I was a kid -- one year, I went as Benjamin Franklin. What ever happened to costumes like that?

* Tropical Storm Octave may be headed toward Baja, Calif. It's going toward the right place; “Octave” sounds like something a celebrity would name their kid.

* The ABC show “Lucky 7" has been canceled after two episodes. What -- did network executives hate the theme song?

* John Daly has some advice for Miley Cyrus. On a scale of role models for a 19-year-old, you can do worse than John Daly -- no, wait, actually, you can't.

* Terrell Suggs said NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell was behind the Super Bowl blackout that halted play. Is there any way we can send Goodell to the next bowl game that features two 6-7 teams?

* The new trend in college football: students bringing photographs of large celebrity heads to games and waving them. Hey, let the rest of the world surpass us in math and science scores; our young lead in what really counts: big celebrity heads.

* Danica Patrick has been named to co-host the American Country Music Awards. Is that a good idea? Exposing Danica to all those people who have actually won something?

Also from Brad: It's the final countdown ... again!

Contact the writer: Brad Dickson

brad.dickson@owh.com    |   402-444-1019    |  

Brad comments in a funny way on topical events in the news and the wide world of sports.

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