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Brad's afternoon edition. Click here to read Brad's morning jokes.
* Our long, national nightmare is over. Sen. Ted Cruz finally shut up.
* During his filibuster to delay a vote on Obamacare funding that began Tuesday afternoon, Cruz talked nonstop for over 21 hours. Or, as Bill Clinton used to call that: "A few introductory remarks."
* It was sort of like the KFAB Husker pregame show.
* During his talk, Cruz impersonated Darth Vader. This is not to be confused with the eight-year Darth Vader impersonation Dick Cheney did as vice president.
* The price of a stamp could increase. If only there was somehow a way to send messages from one person to another other than via U.S. mail. Oh well.
* A talk by ex-World-Herald columnist Rainbow Rowell in Minnesota was canceled because supposedly the F-word appears too frequently in her new book. I don't know who they got to replace Rowell as speaker, but I think we can rule out Bo Pelini.
* The Minnesota group that canceled Rainbow's speech counted 227 offending words. Really, Minnesota? I heard more offensive words in the first stanza of Prince's last song.
* The new Guinness Book of World Records contains a listing for the "World's Smallest Dog." It's a 2-year-old that stands about 4 inches tall and weighs one pound. He's also earned the title "World's Worst Watch Dog."
* There was an embarrassing incident the other day when the dog was chased up a tree by a fruit fly.
* It's a Chihuahua, so it's also the "World's Most Annoying Dog."
* The blobfish has been named the "World's Ugliest Animal." Blobfish? How can something with such a beautiful name be considered ugly?
* Blobfish. That sounds like something I once ordered at a bad seafood restaurant.
* To crack down on unruly fans at Seahawks games, Seattle authorities are sending officers wearing the opponent's gear to games. Clearly, attending an NFL game in the opponent's gear for a cop is similar to infiltrating organized crime, only more dangerous.
* Larry Sanders of the Milwaukee Bucks got a tattoo reading RECEIVE. One problem: It was misspelled "RECIEVE." I hereby call for tattoo artists having to pass a background test proving they can spell at a fifth-grade level.
* This is not good. A Southeastern Conference football team just cut a player to avoid exceeding the salary cap.