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Brad's morning edition. Check back this afternoon for more jokes from Brad.
* Parts of the Omaha area had received one inch of precipitation by early Thursday morning. Surprisingly, OPS did not cancel the first day of school.
* Omaha-area students are headed back to school. It seems like only yesterday summer vacation began. Actually, it was yesterday.
* An Omaha man who won $1 million in the recent Powerball Lottery drawing came forward. Because he's from Omaha, after federal, state, local and property taxes, that works out to $33,419.
* After realizing they'd get to tax him on his $1 million winnings, members of the Omaha City Council and the Douglas County Board of Commissioners hoisted the man on their shoulders and paraded him through the streets of the city.
* Former Bellevue police chief John Stacey will not be awarded an additional $23,000 for unused sick leave. In a related story, the Omaha City Council approved paying a former Omaha police chief $50k for that time he ate lunch at his desk.
* A new restaurant opened in downtown Omaha called Big Daddy's Fried Chicken. It features fried catfish, shrimp po'boy and cornbread muffins. If the owner had opened while LSU fans were still in town for the CWS, Warren Buffett would be the second-wealthiest guy in town.
* At a public hearing Tuesday night, Omahans were invited to address the City Council for three minutes. The best part occurred when cameras caught a councilman who mistakenly removed his ear plugs at the two-minute mark.
* President Obama criticized Kim Kardashian and Kanye West for giving young people the impression that they have to live in a 10,000-square-foot house. Then, Obama walked back inside his 12,000-square-foot vacation rental.
* North Carolina passed a controversial voter ID measure that requires voters to present photo ID before casting a vote. That's not to be confused with Chicago where voters will continue to present a death certificate.
* A Republican candidate for lieutenant governor in Virginia misspelled the title of his 2008 book on the cover, omitting an 'm' from 'commandments.' If he doesn't win the election, there's a job waiting for him painting dugouts at TD Ameritrade Park.
* I don't demand perfect grammar and spelling from my elected officials. But is it asking too much to get the title of your book right?
* Twitter now has a "report abuse" button. You thought there was an epidemic of carpal tunnel syndrome before.
* With any luck, the "report abuse" button will only be pushed after every other tweet.
* The event formerly known as Maine's Redneck Olympic Games is winding down. It features bobbing for pigs' feet and "toilet-seat horseshoes." It's sort of like a Kid Rock concert, without Kid Rock.
* Bobbing for pigs' feet and toilet-seat horseshoes. Or, as we'll be calling that in a couple of weeks: "Mississippi State's halftime show."
* The Redneck Olympic Games has been forced to change its name to the Maine Redneck Blank Games. Still, with events including lawn-mower races, bobbing for pigs' feet and toilet-seat horseshoes, nobody's going to confuse this for the America's Cup.