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Brad's afternoon edition. Click here for Brad's morning jokes.
* Locally, Monday night's Perseid meteor shower was best viewed east of Council Bluffs. There are no media accounts; not a single reporter made it through Council Bluffs without detouring to find out what Teen Mom is up to.
* The test scores of Nebraska students are up in reading, math and science. How about we fire the Nebraska Legislature and let the kids have a shot at running this state?
* The test scores of Nebraska students, including OPS students, are up generally across the board. So maybe there's merit in returning to school in the middle of the summer.
* The Budweiser Clydesdales will appear at a Walmart in Fremont. This is the worst nightmare for Iowa State Fair officials -- to face the possibility of being outdrawn by a Fremont Walmart.
* PayPal founder Elon Musk has designed a train that can travel up to 800 mph. When the train is traveling 800 mph, I think that pretty much eliminates the need for a sleeping car.
* Kris Jenner has responded to President Obama's "diss" of daughter Kim Kardashian. The media plans to cover Vladimir Putin's reaction to Obama canceling their historic summit if it has time after detailing the Obama-Kardashian dust-up.
* "Star Wars" director George Lucas has become the father of a baby boy. Considering the wild names celebrities seem to give their kids, I'm pretty sure we're looking at Chewbacca Jr.
* Sen. John McCain said he thinks a proposed new dollar coin would mean increased tips for strippers. Finally, Republicans are reaching out to Democrats ahead of a key vote.
* In a new video, Anthony Weiner said, "Quit isn’t the way we roll" in New York City. Then, to prove he’s in tune with how New Yorkers roll, he spit, cursed and urinated in the street.
* Recent reports of TSA misconduct are "the tip of the iceberg." Coincidentally, icebergs are still small enough to be considered carry-on luggage by Southwest Airlines.
* A passenger flying out of Seattle simply left his suitcase behind when the airline attempted to charge him a $1,400 baggage fee. That’s when you know baggage fees are out of control. Passengers say, "Just keep the suitcase."
* Average rent in New York City has surpassed $3,000 per month. Clip this item, so when you’re sick of the heat, humidity, snow, taxes and potholes in Omaha, looking at it may help you to get out of bed in the morning.
* Actress Shirley Jones has a tell-all book revealing intimate details of her sex life. TMI, Mrs. Partridge, TMI.
* LeBron James said he's considering running for president of the NBA players’ union. That means instead of debating the arbitration clause, player union meetings would begin with 25 minutes of dancing.
* The Atlanta Falcons' proposed stadium may include vibrating seats. This is the only way to get fans to stand when the Falcons run out of the tunnel -- when they look at their seats going, "What the #%@*?"
* Tyrann Mathieu, aka the "Honey Badger," is competing to be the Arizona Cardinals' top kick returner. Practice was halted after Brent Musburger tackled Mathieu’s chief competition.
* Madonna has dated both A-Rod and Jose Canseco. What if it turns out these guys used performance-enhancers just so they’d look half as ripped as their girlfriend?