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Brad's morning edition. Check back this afternoon for more jokes from Brad.
* This year's Iowa Stair Fair kicks off today. The fair officially begins when a fair-goer throws up the first fried pigs feet on a stick.
* Menu offerings at the Iowa State Fair include deep-fried Twinkies and deep-fried brownies. Iowa has the only state fair where people consume food they wouldn’t serve to the livestock they show at said fair.
* Another item -- a bacon-wrapped riblet on a stick. If you’re trying to be healthy, throw away the food and eat the stick.
* The Iowa State Fair will be more aggressive in trying to lure Omahans. The only way it can be more aggressive is if fair officials use giant magnets to pull us to Des Moines.
* Thank goodness for the Iowa State Fair, which is keeping the butter cow manufacturing plant open. Think about it. What other outlets do butter cow sellers have these days?
* La Vista officials have proposed a 2.6-cent redevelopment property tax to fund a new business district. After the commissioners heard about a potential new form of property tax, there was a line of drool three blocks long coming from Douglas County Board headquarters.
* President Obama canceled a scheduled September meeting with Russian President Vladimir Putin, but not in protest over Edward Snowden. The actual reason is the same day the summit was supposed to take place, Joy Behar and Pat Sajak are set to appear in Washington, D.C.
* Obama canceled his face-to-face meeting with Putin. In a sign of the times, 70 percent of Americans said: "Oh? So they’re going to Skype?"
* After undergoing a successful stent procedure, George W. Bush has been ordered to take it easy. Which means he’ll only be riding his mountain bike 700 miles a day.
* The GOP is working to address the shortage of female Republican members in Congress. I think the big problem is that every registered Republican woman currently works for Fox News.
* At a New York City mayoral forum, Anthony Weiner referred to a 69-year-old rival as "grandpa." Great. Weiner has just offended the one demographic that doesn’t know what "sexting" means.
* Congress gets a five-week summer recess. So, while it may no longer be true that any kid can grow up to be president, at least every Omaha school kid can vacation for about as long as a member of Congress.
* I read that former New York City Mayor Fiorello LaGuardia is credited with developing the thong underwear. If only our politicians today dared to dream this big.
* A new president of Iran was sworn into office earlier this week. The Iranians don’t quite have the democracy thing down yet. The new president was sworn in before the polls opened.
* A foster dog in Pennsylvania saved her owner after the man suffered a heart attack while mowing the grass and the dog ran to fetch help. Meanwhile, the cat the guy has owned for 12 years stepped on his face to get to his little ball with the bell inside.
* This is Shark Week, where we pay homage to professional sports agents. Oh, wait, I’m told Shark Week means something else entirely.