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Brad's afternoon edition. Click here to read Brad's morning jokes.
* On Wednesday, Sen. Deb Fischer told The World-Herald that gridlock in Washington "isn't as bad as it's made out to be." She also said she's looking forward to passing the bill proposed by James K. Polk after the congressional recess ends.
* Fischer has a new nickname: "Hammer," given to her by Sen. John McCain. After hearing this, Mayor Jean Stothert said: "The nickname 'Hammer' is taken? OK, back to the drawing board."
* Thirty-nine years ago today, President Richard Nixon resigned in shame. This harkens back to a foregone era when U.S. politicians were capable of feeling an iota of shame.
* A motivational speaker completed a 51-hour swim while dragging a ton of bricks. I'm guessing the title of his next motivational speech will be "I Dragged A Ton of Bricks While Swimming 51 Hours and You Can, Too!"
* If you quit your job and told off your boss Wednesday night because you were sure you were going to win the $448-million Powerball jackpot, right about now, reality should be kicking in.
* Alabama has a safety named Ha Ha Clinton-Dix. Now the SEC's even dominating the all-name team.
* There's a proposal to give college student-athletes $3,000 annual stipends. Or, as that will be called at Ohio State: "Bail money."
* An autograph dealer claims Johnny Manziel was paid $7,500 to sign autographs. You know what other SEC players call it when one of their own earns $7,500? "Below the poverty line."
* New Denver Broncos receiver Wes Welker said he "put up with" Bill Belichick in New England. Haven't there been enough bounties in the NFL without this?
* The hard-luck Greg Oden has signed with the Miami Heat. This sets up a nightmare scenario where Oden's out for the season after being injured doing an elaborate pregame dance ritual.
* It has to be tough for Alex Rodriguez. One day you're the highest-paid player in the game, and the next, you're like Pete Rose with a better haircut.