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Brad's afternoon edition. Click here to read his morning jokes.
* A Lincoln think tank warned that cutting taxes on high earners may not be a good idea. Of course it all comes down to what that group nobody will ever mistake for a think tank, the Nebraska Legislature, says.
* Ahead of Omaha's BaconFest, Mayor Stothert pardoned Sal the pig. Then, Stothert warned Sal not to speak to the media without her permission.
* President Obama lashed out at Russian President Vladimir Putin. After Obama's tongue-lashing, Putin said he felt like a Republican member of the U.S. Congress.
* Anthony Weiner referred to a 69-year-old rival in the New York City mayor's race as "grandpa." As if things weren't going bad enough for Weiner, now he's just lost the vote of everyone 70 and older.
* Jewels valued in excess of $130 million were stolen from a Cannes hotel. To put it in perspective, that’s enough jewelry to last the Miami Heat's starting five through an entire playoff series.
* In the United Kingdom, a 92-year-old woman's dentures were stolen by a seagull. Great -- the one person in the UK who's been to a dentist, and then this happens.
* I’m guessing the woman’s reaction as she watched the seagull fly off with the dentures: "My son’s never gonna believe this."
* NU won another ESPN online fan vote. If the Heisman were decided based on online fan votes, Taylor Martinez would finish first with Matt Damon’s nephew the runner-up.
* North Carolina has suspended basketball star P.J. Hairston "indefinitely" after a traffic citation. Hairston just wishes he was an Ohio State football player, where an "indefinite" suspension works out to about one hour, 45 minutes in real-time.
* The new Bikini Basketball Association has started play. If it ran all its coverage like it does the Olympics, right now, NBC would be pre-empting "Meet the Press" to air bikini basketball.
* The 111-year-old fan who attended a New York Yankees' game may be only 102 or 103. Can't the Yankees do anything without it ending in controversy?