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Brad's morning edition. Check back this afternoon for more jokes from Brad.
* Now that the U.S. Senior Open is over, the 12-foot statue of Fred Funk on Dodge Street is coming down. It will be replaced by matching 17-foot statues of Matt Damon and his nephew.
* This may be the only city where officials spend more time and money on enormous statues along the street than they do to repair those streets.
* Kenny Perry won the U.S. Senior Open. How do you celebrate winning a Senior event? Dump Metamucil over the winner's head?
* I love the Senior Open. I think it's just nice to see a group of athletes whose concept of “social media” is throwing back beer with a reporter after a round.
* The U.S. Senior Open is the most exciting thing to ever happen in Omaha's quiet Country Club neighborhood. The second most exciting thing to ever happen in the neighborhood was when the Johnsons caulked their windows.
* Omaha's Henry Doorly Zoo unveiled a new attraction called Jungle Land – wait, that was the rough at the OCC.
* Nebraska Attorney General Jon Bruning just sank the fourth hole-in-one of his career. You combine this with Gov. Heineman, and our state government is like the seniors tour if competitors on the seniors tour played more golf.
* According to a report, Mayor Jean Stothert is ready to impose large budget cuts on the fire department. Do you realize how stupid it'll look when there's a fire and firefighters pile out of a Metro bus?
* Reportedly, Stothert is ready to lay off firefighters and idle fire trucks and ambulances due to budget concerns. Now, we still have a bike czar, right? Just sayin'.
* Stothert and the City Council are backing a $6 million pledge to help UNO build a new arena. That's the good news. The bad news? With the city budget situation, the only hope of coming up with the money is to raise parking fines to $16,000.
* One can legally wager on what Prince William and Kate will name the royal baby. For those who haven't placed a bet yet, I hear you can get some pretty good odds on “Skippy.”
* The frenzy surrounding the royal baby in England is surreal. Thousands of reporters and photographers camping outside the hospital. In Omaha we only see that when the Council Bluffs “Teen Mom” goes to the store.
* Jordan Spieth, 19, became the youngest golfer to win a PGA event in 82 years when he won the John Deere Classic in a playoff. He also became the first PGA golfer to sink a tourney-winning putt while texting.
* Spieth said the toughest thing about winning the John Deere Classic was riding that tractor around the course.
* The U.S. men's soccer team defeated Cuba 4-1 in Sandy, Utah. Afterward, Cuban players said they'll just be happy to leave Utah for the less restrictive, more tolerant environs of Havana.
* Some are claiming that fans did a lousy job selecting players for Tuesday's Major League Baseball all-star game. Is that surprising? These same fans elect members of Congress.
* The San Francisco Giants' Tim Lincecum pitched a no-hitter vs. the Padres. This sent experts scrambling to see if somehow marijuana is a performance enhancer.
* Husker coach Bo Pelini threw out the first pitch before a Cubs game at Wrigley Field. Of course, the big concern was that Pelini would become the first ceremonial first pitch dignitary to be ejected for kicking dirt on an umpire.