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Brad's morning edition. Check back this afternoon for more jokes from Brad.
* Justin Bieber performs at CenturyLink Center Omaha on Saturday night. Stay off the streets and lock up your great granddaughters -- Bieber’s coming to town.
* The good thing about adults being exposed to loud Fourth of July fireworks is that many who accompany their kids to the concert will be unable to hear Bieber.
* The World-Herald fireworks show at TD Ameritrade Park featured 6,000 pounds of fireworks. To put it in perspective, it takes the average Omaha 10-year-old almost an hour to set off that many firecrackers.
* The Fourth of July is when Omahans show their patriotism by blowing up half the neighborhood.
* A New Jersey couple face a fine of up to $500 for keeping a bird feeder in their backyard after neighbors complained. Compared to the firecrackers going off at 3 a.m. in Omaha, an unauthorized bird feeder doesn’t sound all that bad.
* On the Fourth of July, NASA launched two rockets. Onlookers saw the double booster rockets traveling at warp speed and just assumed someone in Omaha got their hands on some really good fireworks.
* At the Nathan’s Hot Dog Eating Contest, Joey Chestnut broke his own world record by eating 69 hot dogs in 10 minutes. To prove his dominance in competitive eating, he then asked, "what’s for dessert?"
* Sonya "Black Widow" Thomas won on the ladies' side, consuming 36.75 dogs in 10 minutes while earning the title "Last Woman You’d Ever Want To Take On a Dinner Date."
* Chestnut is known as "Jaws," or, as I like to call him: "The Michael Phelps of Gluttony."
* A 43-year-old woman is claiming she was thrown out of a water park in Independence, Mo., because her bikini bottoms were too brief. Ladies and gentlemen, this is what the Fourth of July is all about -- in America, we have the freedom to show butt cleavage.
* The new turf at Nebraska’s Memorial Stadium is 35 degrees cooler than the old turf. For those of you unfamiliar with the way we do things in Nebraska, selecting turf for our football field is similar to choosing a new governor, only 10,000 times more important.
* President Obama said he is not going to scramble U.S. jets to get Edward Snowden. Of course not. For starters, the Air Force jets are already busy picking up Joy Behar to come visit the White House.
* Edward Snowden remains holed up in a hotel at a Russian airport. It’s a luxury Russian hotel. Every night, they place a potato on your pillow.
* The other day the hotel concierge directed him to a nearby tourist attraction, only 800 miles due south.
* In "White House Down," the White House is destroyed. When I saw a clip of the White House going down, my first reaction was: "These sequester cuts talks between Democrats and Republicans are getting slightly more congenial."
* The cat running for mayor of Xalapa, Mexico, is gaining support. It’s one thing for a cat to run for mayor, but now apparently its message is resonating.
* According to a new study, vegetarians may live longer. The downside: Those around them have to listen to them bragging about being vegetarian for another five years.