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Brad's morning edition. Check back this afternoon for more jokes from Brad.
* On Tuesday night, Cincinnati Reds' pitcher Homer Bailey threw a no-hitter vs. San Francisco. According to experts, this was expected to be the last no-hitter in baseball until tonight's Home Run Derby at TD Ameritrade Park.
* The Home Run Derby and World-Herald fireworks show is tonight! Because it's at TD Ameritrade Park, none of the fireworks will make it out of the stadium; instead, they will fall harmlessly in the warning track.
* Douglas County is getting a new seal. I believe it's a cherry bomb with a lit fuse.
* The Douglas County Health Department forecast elevated levels of particulate pollution this week due to smoke from fireworks. It's bad enough all the fireworks in Omaha wake me up, but now they're threatening the ozone layer.
* Welcome to the Fourth of July, when the average Omaha family has more firepower in its backyard than the North Korean military.
* Due to the budget situation, the official Omaha fireworks show will consist of two snakes and the president of the City Council running around with a sparkler.
* When you're watching and hearing the millions of dollars of fireworks explode, try not to think: "And this is the city that may have to close libraries due to lack of funds?"
* Mayor Jean Stothert has named Brook Bench the permanent parks director. Our parks director is Brook Bench. I can't make this stuff up. Now, if we can just get a parking czar named Mickey Meter and police chief Larry Law.
* Over 10,000 people in Multnomah County, Oregon, were without power after a single squirrel got into a substation. For one day, OPPD was only the second most embarrassing power company in the country.
* Atlanta police allegedly authorized traffic tickets to fund pay raises. "Why am I pulling you over? Well, I'm hoping to take my family to Disney World, and we also need a dishwasher."
* A 1966 Volvo has hit 3 million miles on the odometer. The thing is, because it's a Volvo, there are another five years and 200,000 miles left on the warranty.
* Hillary Clinton's favorability rating has dropped from 63 percent to 52 percent. Republicans are thrilled. They know if she drops another 35 points, they have a shot at the White House in 2016.
* It's possible that the U.S. may enact economic sanctions against Hong Kong and Russia for aiding Edward Snowden. Tough, tough sanctions that could devastate their economies. President Obama is going to send Ben Bernanke over there to give a speech.
* People in Britain are betting huge sums of money over whether the royal baby will be a boy or a girl. Here's just one more reason to be grateful, on the Fourth of July, we won our independence from this country.