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Brad's morning edition. Check back this afternoon for more jokes from Brad.
* Secretary of Defense Chuck Hagel just visited Omaha. Because he came during the College World Series, Hagel couldn't find a hotel room and had to sleep in his limo.
* Actually, Hagel purposely came during the CWS. He's looking into the feasibility of dropping Midwestern Monster burgers on our enemies during wartime.
* A CWS menu item called the Triple Play consists of three layers of Parmesan dough; a bottom layer of bratwurst melt with Thousand Island dressing; a middle layer of short ribs, cheese curd and orange pimento sour cream; a top layer of sweet potato tots and fried onions with dark gravy drizzled over the whole thing. A tailgating LSU fan dining on raw crawdads said: "How can you put that stuff in your body?"
* The Triple Play sounds like something Harold and Kumar would order at two in the morning.
* Does anyone know if there's a low gluten version?
* The Midwestern Monster consists of two 6 oz. burgers held together by pulled pork, topped with cheese and covered with fried onions. If you hear a loud bang after a game, you can't be sure if it was fireworks or a fan's stomach exploded.
* CWS hitters are using the Midwestern Monster as bat weights in the on-deck circle.
* A group of Occupy Omaha protesters were out sleeping in tents -- wait, those were general admission ticket holders hoping to get into the College World Series. Sorry.
* Some big crowds at the CWS. I think the last time Omahans turned out in these kinds of numbers, it was to see John Stamos play bongos.
* Omaha Mayor Jean Stothert told city employees in a memo that all comments to the media must go through her office. This means that a future comment -- say, "we're seriously overworked and falling behind fast" -- may be tweaked to "we look forward to the challenge of serving Omaha with grace and dignity."
* A kitten survived a 284-mile drive from Wisconsin to Illinois inside the engine block of a semitruck. The kitten is fine and was discovered after she shouted to the semi driver: "Slow uphill, fast downhill -- pick a speed already!"
* The CEO of McDonald's said he's lost 20 pounds. So, that's who's ordering the McDonald's salads.
* Unconfirmed reports claim the new Kardashian baby has been named North West. That narrowly beat out Hey, Look At Me.
* During his remarks at the G8 summit, President Obama referred to U.K. finance minister George Osborne as "Jeffrey Osborne," his favorite R&B singer. It could've been worse -- Obama could've called him "Ozzy."
* NSA whistle-blower Edward Snowden has been described as "a low-level insider." John Boehner said: "You, too?"
* Thursday afternoon, Sen. Dianne Feinstein and aides were stuck in a Capitol elevator for about 15 minutes. Feinstein relaxed after realizing that, with the current Congress, she could be stuck for nine months and not miss anything.
* Sen. Feinstein was stuck in an elevator. There is absolutely no proof that a Republican cut the cable.
* There have been threats to jail controversial filmmakers in the Middle East. I am appalled at the notion of jailing filmmakers ... unless incarcerating Adam Sandler could prevent a "Grown Ups III."