Dear Annie: About a year ago, I ran into a woman I used to spend time with in high school. We are both married, although she is going through a divorce.
Since that day, she and I have been talking quite a bit. We discuss a lot of different things, all on a platonic level. The problem is, I believe I am becoming infatuated with her again. I had a thing for her throughout high school but never had the courage to ask her out, probably because I was too afraid to lose our friendship.
I am now in a situation where I won't be home for a few months. I know I will miss her communication. I feel I'm doing something wrong. Is this normal? Do I need to just keep my distance and cease contact?
-- Back in High School
Dear Back: You recognize that you are “becoming” infatuated (we think you are already there) and will miss this woman's communication. The fact that she is going through a divorce also puts you in an awkward position, because she may lean on you for comfort, and when she becomes available, you will find her hard to resist.
Please back far, far away before you find yourself enmeshed in an affair, whether emotional or physical. If your marriage needs revitalizing, work on it. Consider how your wife would feel if she found out how close you are to this other woman. How would you feel if she did this to you? You are playing with fire. Stop.
Dear Annie: This summer, I have my concert tickets ordered and am excited to see some of my favorite performers on stage. However, I'm unsure of proper etiquette after a problem I encountered last year.
I went to a country concert, which meant plenty of beer and dancing. The problem was, as soon as the audience stood up, the people directly behind me started yelling at my friend and me to sit down. We did, but we couldn't see a thing because of the dozens of rows of people standing in front of us. We stood back up, only to be yelled at again. I turned around and explained that everyone else was standing and they should do the same. They were angry and continued to yell throughout the concert. After the concert, they sarcastically thanked us for ruining their night.
What is the right way to handle people like this? Should I sit and see nothing because misery loves company?
Dear Juliana: Concerts have evolved into two basic types: The formal concert, where everyone sits, and the informal concert, where people often stand. Once the people in the rows ahead of you get up, you need to do the same in order to see. We have advised people who attend such concerts to try to get seats in the front row or first-row balcony if they want their view unobstructed. Those who are in wheelchairs often find there is a handicapped section, although it may be necessary to find an usher and inquire.
It is unrealistic at informal events to expect hundreds of other people to sit down for your convenience. If this happens again, apologize to the people behind you and suggest that they, too, stand up or move closer to the aisle for a better view. You are not obligated to sit if the people in front of you are standing.
Dear Annie: “An Anxious Mom” was reluctant to give money from her late husband's will to her 58-year-old unemployed son who is living on his veterans benefits. One of your suggestions was to put the money in a trust.
Please suggest she check into creating a Special Needs Trust for her son. If she gives the money directly to him, he will probably spend it very quickly, but he could also lose his VA benefits. She will need to consult a lawyer knowledgeable in these matters.
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