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Brad's morning edition. Check back this afternoon for more jokes from Brad.
* Jean Stothert has been elected mayor of Omaha. In a related story, the Omaha police and fire unions announced they are relocating to Ottawa, Canada.
* Stothert is the first female mayor of Omaha. Due to some technicality, Anne Boyle didn't count.
* Mayor Suttle conceded in front of a crowd of about 100 -- all former Omaha police chiefs.
* During Stothert's victory speech, male family members attired in tuxedos stood behind her on the podium. You know that Stothert frugality. First thing Wednesday morning, the tuxes went back to the rental shop.
* It got up to 101 degrees in Omaha on Tuesday. Apathetic Omahans were walking into polling places just for the air conditioning.
* On Sunday, Mayor Jim Suttle did an impromptu rendition of “Take Me Home, Country Roads” while campaigning in Aksarben Village. I believe that's what clinched it for Stothert.
* When I heard Suttle singing, I thought: “It's time for those 'American Idol' Omaha auditions already?”
* Jim Suttle sang. That's not to be confused with that tap dance Stothert's been doing about how she's going to pay for her promises.
* Let's face it, it's been a rough campaign. Today, both campaigns laid off their directors of meanness.
* Turnout was so-so. Here's what we need -- a polling place with a drive-through window, so we don't have to get out of our cars. Then, give us fries after we vote.
* Dick Morris has egg on his face after predicting a Mort Sullivan victory.
* There's a new crime trend in Omaha -- stealing plumbing from fast-food restrooms. Their crime statistics vary so much the Stothert and Suttle stats now disagree on how many toilet lids have been pilfered from McDonald's.
* It got up to 101 degrees in Omaha on Tuesday. On the news, a group of giddy children were running through the wake of a broken water main.
* Here's a nice story. After 47 years apart, adopted siblings just met for the first time at Omaha's Eppley Airfield. Call me old-fashioned, but a meeting like this should take place in total privacy. Say, at the Lincoln Airport.
* They were supposed to meet after 43 years apart, but one of them flew American Airlines.
* You probably heard about the scandal involving the IRS, which now stands for: “Investigating Right-wing Societies."
* The IRS is in trouble. OK, point for those who believe in karma.
* An IRS official said President Obama was not involved. At the time this happened, Obama was preparing for his 100th appearance on “The View.”
* A man on Nebraska death row in the “Boys Don't Cry” case is engaged to be married. So that's where you meet Ms. Right.
* Aly Raisman received a perfect score on “Dancing with the Stars.” Welcome to the United States, where competitors can win a gold medal at the Olympic Games but not become a household name until they defeat Ingo Rademacher in a fox trot.
* Homeless people in California are going to be offered government-subsidized cell phones. Only in California do they see that people without a roof over their head have an adequate cell phone provider.
* In the U.K., a seal was discovered 50 miles from the nearest ocean. If this doesn't prove that London is wet, I don't know what does.