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Brad's morning edition. Check back this afternoon for more jokes from Brad.
* Justin Timberlake will perform at Omaha's CenturyLink Center on Feb. 10, 2014. This is the first in the CenturyLink's new "In Your Face, Lincoln Pinnacle Bank Arena" series.
* At the Berkshire "Invest In Yourself" 5K race Sunday, Berkshire investment officers Todd Combs and Ted Weschler ran swift times of 21:57 and 22:54, respectively. Not only that -- they stopped at the one-mile mark and bought stock, which was up 35 percent by the finish.
* The "Invest In Yourself" race was only slightly marred by Berkshire “bear” Doug Kass standing at the finish line complaining that the course was half a centimeter too short.
* A Russian airline is charging $70 million per rocket seat for a trip to the International Space Station. Imagine if a U.S. airline ever charged for a trip to the space station? It'd cost $70 million ... plus $40 for every checked bag.
* During a bipartisan golf outing with the president, GOP Sen. Saxby Chambliss recorded a hole-in-one. To demonstrate the power shift in Washington, the hole-in-one was witnessed by Obama and Chambliss' caddy, John Boehner.
* As if acrimony in Washington isn't already bad enough, Chambliss just committed the biggest mistake you can make -- he upstaged the boss on the golf course.
* Eleven Secret Service agents immediately wrestled Chambliss to the ground.
* Just as the ball was about to go in the hole, a stealth fighter jet attempted to shoot it.
* During his commencement speech at Ohio State University, President Obama told the grads: "Enjoy it while you can. Soon you will not get to wake up and eat breakfast at 11:30 on a Tuesday." Unless, of course, you are elected vice president.
* In his commencement speech, Obama called on students to embrace the Ohio State motto, "trophies for tats" -- I mean, "education for citizenship."
* On his trip to Mexico, President Obama spoke some Spanish. When I saw Obama speaking Spanish, I thought: "It's time for another election already?"
* South Carolina congressional candidate Mark Sanford is accused of trespassing at his ex-wife's home. Give our politicians credit. Just when you think they've run out of crimes to commit, they go and reinvent themselves.
* There's a new proposal to have restaurants list how many minutes of exercise are required to burn off the calories beside each menu item. This is the latest from "The Wet Blanket Committee Hellbent on Ruining Your Evening Out."
* A British man walking his dog on a beach found rare whale vomit worth $68,000. Let that be a lesson. If you want a secure retirement, forget funding your 401K; search for sea creature barf.
* There's a new product in Japanese breweries -- elephant dung beer. You think people stomping on grapes to make wine feel dumb.
* Disney World is fighting to keep Florida workers from receiving paid sick days. If this passes, every employee at Disney World will be called Grumpy.
* Disney World is appealing to the Florida Senate not to grant its workers paid sick days. Disney World has a new slogan. Out: "The Happiest Place on Earth." In: "Walmart With Rides."
* According to a Gallup-Healthways survey, Iowa is the nation's tenth most obese state. Iowans resent this survey, calling it inaccurate -- and have decided to focus on preparing their fried pork, lard and bacon bars for the upcoming state fair.