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Brad's morning edition. Check back this afternoon for more jokes from Brad.
* World-Herald livewellnebraska.com blogger Heather Caspersen recommends chewing food for 30 bites. Good luck with that. At the rate we're going we'll soon see children swallowing cows whole.
* The Alexander Payne movie “Nebraska” has wrapped. Already, there are plans for another film shoot here this spring. With our weather, it's called “Journey to the Arctic Circle.”
* A new mobile Doppler weather station is visiting Omaha area high schools. This is a great idea. It gives young people an opportunity to learn how the experts make their inaccurate weather forecasts.
* A mobile Doppler radar station. There's something about a Doppler radar weather station having to drive home in snow after it predicted partly cloudy skies that I find appealing.
* According to a new study, your odds are much better when asking someone out on a date if you wear the color red. Now let me emphasize to Husker fans: The date request tends to work best if you remember to remove the rubber corncob from your head.
* New York City Mayor Michael Bloomberg has a new cause -- cracking down on people who play their music too loud in public. If either Omaha mayoral candidate is looking for a platform that might get you some traction, they may want to talk to Bloomberg.
* Paul Ryan has introduced his third budget. I believe this what's known as the “throw everything you got at the wall and see if anything sticks” policy.
* The Paul Ryan budget calls for balancing the budget in 10 years. That's pretty ambitious considering the plan to end the sequester takes 11 years.
* A third-grader asked New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie if he was running for president, and he in turn asked her if she works for MSNBC. Which is ridiculous. Anyone with a third-grade education is overqualified to report for a cable news network.
* On Thursday, the new 226,565 square-foot George W. Bush Presidential Library opens. President Obama will attend the opening. You know what the Obamas normally call something that big? “Vacation home.”
* It's the first presidential library with a boat dock and 18-hole golf course.
* It was just reported that in November George W. Bush underwent back surgery. The U.S. media had the info all this time, but, between all the stories on the Justin Bieber-Selena Gomez break-up and “The Real Housewives of Atlanta” spin-off, they had no room to report it.
* In one day last week, the U.S. Congress averted one crisis by avoiding a federal government shutdown and then started a new crisis over the 2014 budget. Yeah, that sounds about right.
* Huffington Post is claiming the 2016 presidential race is already underway. No Republican is campaigning or making a case for why they should be president. Yep, it sure sounds like it's underway.
* President Obama is calling for putting 10,000 new police officers on the streets just to arrest members of Reese Witherspoon's family.
* In Atlanta, while her husband was being arrested on suspicion of DUI while driving a Ford Fusion, Reese Witherspoon herself was arrested for allegedly interfering. The couple is embarrassed for their actions but mostly that the whole thing went down in a Ford Fusion.
* Stevie Nicks just complained that Reese Witherspoon is too old to play her in a movie. Stop the voting; Reese is the latest winner in the “Worst Day Ever” contest.
* China may send senior officials to North Korea. Chinese senior officials. I believe these are the guys in their late nineties. As opposed to the junior Chinese leaders, who are in their early nineties.