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Brad's afternoon edition. Click here to read his morning edition.
* The handler who pulled Punxsutawney Phil from the hole now claims that he misinterpreted the groundhog's prediction for an early spring. This handler is basically trying to alibi for the groundhog's poor forecast. After hearing this, three Omaha TV meteorologists offered to put the handler on retainer.
* Six weeks after the fact, the handler is claiming he misinterpreted Punxsutawney Phil's prediction. This is when you know your life has taken a wrong turn -- you're the fall guy for a groundhog.
* Joe Biden racked up a $585,000.50 hotel bill for a one-night stay at a Paris hotel. Because it's France, the 50 cents was a "rudeness surcharge."
* What's Biden doing staying at a luxury hotel? With the state of U.S. finances, he should be in a camper at a KOA.
* The Nebraska women's basketball team made it to the Sweet 16. After winning the game, everyone was jumping around and Herbie Husker's head got knocked off -- UNL Chancellor Harvey Perlman was inside.
* At a press conference, President Obama told a CNN reporter, “I'm not a dictator. I'm the president.” You just know the CNN reporter was thinking, “No, sir, you are the exulted king of all emperors and a snappy dresser to boot.”
* The “Lincoln” movie is being criticized as historically inaccurate. Apparently Lincoln didn't really chop down the cherry tree and invent the Slinky.
* A Connecticut man is on a quest to meet all 788 of his Facebook friends. Prediction: After he actually meets those people, he will have six Facebook friends.
* Due to a lack of coca beans, Earth is bracing for a worldwide shortage of chocolate in mid-2013. While the world did not end in late December, it'll just seem like it did.
* In Indianapolis, a cop identified as “Officer Burger” showed up to answer a report of a couple fighting at Taco Bell. I have nothing to add here.
* I'm enjoying the NCAA basketball tournament. A few days ago, I was able to trademark usage of the words “Florida Gulf Coast” and “Cinderella” in the same sentence.
* It was reported there were seven streakers at the NU sports complex. Turns out that was just the sand volleyball team showing off its new uniforms.
* NU has the only sand volleyball team in the Big Ten. After hearing this, Tim Miles released a whimsical sigh and muttered, “If only.”
* The 2013 World Cup will feature a special section of seating for obese fans, with reinforced seats that can accommodate people up to 550 pounds. Here's one group of shirtless guys doing the Wave I don't need to see.
* In Turkey, a group of fans locked out of a sold-out stadium tried to dig their way inside. This is when you know soccer is popular in the world -- during a pivotal match, three people who've tunneled in emerge from a hole at midfield.