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Brad's afternoon edition. Click here to read his morning edition.
* North Korea has threatened the United States. The equivalent of this in the animal kingdom would be a gnat threatening a rhinoceros.
* After 16 years, Joy Behar is leaving "The View." There won't be a dry eye in the house when Behar finally finishes that one paragraph she began speaking on the show in 1997.
* On Thursday, President Obama and Paul Ryan ate lunch together at the White House. They were supposed to have sea bass, but with the drastic sequester cuts instead dined on canned tuna and spam.
* On Saturday, an asteroid the size of a football field will pass by earth. I'd like to clear up some confusion. This is not part of Alabama's official kickoff to the spring football season.
* Multimillionaire Dennis Tito announced plans to send a middle-aged married couple to Mars. The couple will spend 501 days cramped together in a tiny capsule and never be more than two feet from one another. Trailing behind in a booster rocket will be a fleet of divorce attorneys.
* The queen of England has been released from the hospital after suffering from a stomach bug. A little different. When the queen has a stomach bug, a servant vomits for her.
* UNL Chancellor Harvey Perlman has been named chairman of a committee that will design the structure of a college football playoff, despite the fact he adamantly opposed a playoff. This is a little like learning that Michele Bachmann is officiating at Minnesota's first gay marriage ceremony.
* So far during spring workouts, Bo Pelini has been warm to the media and participated in the Huskers' 'Harlem Shake' video ... oh, no, someone's kidnapped Bo and replaced him with an exact double!
* Before the Huskers last ever men's basketball game at the Devaney Center, Herbie Husker scaled down a rope from the Devaney Center rafters to the court. Good thing they didn't have Andre Almeida try that.
* Michigan State linebacker Chris Norman is going to pass on the NFL Draft to enter the ministry. I'll pause for a moment so readers can think up their own Hail Mary jokes.
* Fox announced plans for a new 24-hour sports network to compete with ESPN for young, male viewers. The first new host named to try and reel in young viewers? Eighty-one-year-old Regis Philbin. Let me double check that ... yep, 81-year-old Regis Philbin.
* A 14-year-old golfer from China has qualified for The Masters. The embarrassing thing is going to be when he realizes that the Chinese government is more progressive than Augusta officials.