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Brad's afternoon edition. Click here to read his morning edition.
* Despite looming sequester cuts, many members of Congress left for the weekend on Thursday. That's the problem with this country. We're led by people who think "The 8-Hour Work Week" is their bible.
* Saturday has been declared National Unplug Your Device Day. Electronic devices like smartphones and iPads are not to be used. Young Americans are planning to call it "Why Did I Bother To Get Out of Bed Day."
* A prosecutor will not pursue marijuana possession charges against Chicago Bears offensive lineman J'Marcus Webb. The prosecutor obviously feels being in the same huddle with Jay Cutler is worse punishment than incarceration.
* A man is looking for a fourth person to travel around the world with him in a car shaped like a banana. OK, liberal arts majors, this may be your best opportunity.
* Actually, hold on, he just found a fourth rider to go around the planet in the banana-shaped car. Joe Biden told President Obama he’ll check in by phone every 1,000 miles.
* The guy is referred to as an “adventurer.” Let’s get something straight -- the dude who climbed Mount Everest is an adventurer. The man who sailed a hot air balloon across the Pacific is an adventurer. The guy driving the banana is not an adventurer.
* Office Depot and OfficeMax are nearing a merger. The two finally threw in the towel after not one person in U.S. history has ever been able to tell them apart.
* On his trip to North Korea, Dennis Rodman told North Korean leader Kim Jong Un, "You have a friend for life." What's weird here is that I'm pretty sure Rodman doesn't stay in touch with Michael Jordan and Scottie Pippen.
* Rodman is on a trip to North Korea as an unofficial sports ambassador. If seeing a guy with 200 tattoos, 50 body piercings and a wedding gown doesn’t make North Korea open its borders to the west, nothing will.
* Bill Parcells is going to be inducted into the NFL Hall of Fame. There will be a 38-minute delay during the induction speech to edit out all the profanity.
* The 49ers are trading quarterback Alex Smith to Kansas City. In exchange, Kansas City is sending Worlds of Fun, Oceans of Fun and Crown Center to San Francisco.
* Manti Te’o said he’s avoiding all social media. To ensure that he wants nothing to do with social media, Notre Dame officials set him up with a Myspace account.
* A University of Kentucky fan got a glass eye bearing the Kentucky logo. The next time someone calls Husker fans extreme for wearing rubber corncobs, show ‘em this story.