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Brad's morning edition. Check back this afternoon for more jokes from Brad.
* The local weathercast for Omaha calls for anywhere from one to six inches of snow between early Monday and late Wednesday. This is what's known as the “Covering Our Butts-cast.”
* Road work is under way on Pacific Street in west Omaha. The work is expected to be completed sometime between Nov. 15 and when pigs are airborne.
* In case you missed the Academy Awards ceremony, it was pretty much one long filibuster.
* How about those outfits at the Oscars? It looked like a prom at a nudist colony.
* Either that, or commencement at a plastic surgery clinic.
* From the White House, Michelle Obama announced the Best Picture Oscar would go to “Argo.” In a Republican rebuttal, Sen. Marco Rubio then announced that the Best Picture Oscar would go to “Lincoln.”
* Considering how long the Oscars lasted, I'm just surprised that there was only one appearance by an Obama.
* The Oscar ceremony lasted so long that by the end, most of the attendees were married to different people than they arrived with.
* This year the Academy Awards ceremony featured more singing and dancing of the Broadway show variety. This was an attempt to capitalize on the six people who watch the Tony Awards.
* The Oscars were like the Democratic National Convention, only with more liberals and shorter speeches.
* At the Daytona 500 there were several big crashes, cars sliding out of control, big spin-outs at 170 mph. It looked like Omaha streets after the first snow of the season.
* Jimmie Johnson won the Daytona 500. I find it oddly appropriate that the fastest driver was the one whose name begins “Jimmy Johns.”
* Danica Patrick made history three times. She was the first woman to win the pole at Daytona, the first woman to lead the race and the first NASCAR driver to complete a race in stiletto heels.
* The Creighton Bluejays played a Bracketbuster game against the St. Mary's Gaels in Moraga, Calif. I'm unsure which is the bigger conundrum: What is a Gael or where in the world is Moraga?