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Brad's morning edition. Check back this afternoon for more jokes from Brad.
* I read that we're flirting with the 14,000 mark. It's unclear if that's a reference to the Dow Jones Average or how many inches of snow are forecast for Omaha.
* A good general rule of thumb: Anytime you turn on The Weather Channel at 6 a.m. and the first thing you see is Farnam Street, it is not going to be a good day.
* According to the latest forecast, snow in Omaha is expected to begin at 12:23 p.m. Thursday, although it could be 12:24 p.m. or as late as 12:25 p.m.
* By Friday morning the snow is expected to be eye-level for the peregrine falcons on the Woodmen Building.
* Local TV weathercasters are calling it an “atmospheric apocalypse.”
* The local forecasts range from 4 inches to 12 inches of snow. The only forecast we know with certainty that was wrong: the groundhog's prediction of an early spring.
* The Shrine Circus is in town. As if that Friday commute isn't going to be strange enough, now we're going to see a car pull up and 18 clowns climb out.
* The Omaha Boat Sports and Travel Show kicked off Thursday in Omaha. Most activities are centered at the Centurylink Center, with the ice fishing demonstrations to be held on Omaha side streets.
* The Omaha Boat Sports and Travel Show features a shark exhibit. This is your best opportunity to view a group of circling sharks until the next mayoral candidates' forum.
* The game of Monopoly has been updated. Now instead of going directly to jail, there are months of appeals, pre-sentencing diversions and probationary programs.
* It's now reported that on his trip to Florida President Obama stayed at a private golf club that costs $25,000 to join with annual dues of $12,000 per year. Finally, he's trying to reach out to Republicans.
* Tiger Woods said, “With practice, President Obama could be pretty good” at golf. Odds that this made Obama prouder than winning the Nobel Peace Prize: 2 to 1.
* The U.S. Congress supposedly has doubts about Chuck Hagel because in the past he's supposedly been “wrong.” If being wrong disqualifies one from working in Washington, landmark congressional bills would be passing by votes of two to one.
* Sen. Marco Rubio has been visiting the Middle Eastern desert. After he was caught taking an awkward drink during the state of the union rebuttal, this is the GOP's new strategy for Rubio - send him to a place where there is no water.
* Tea party leaders denied they are dividing the GOP. Then they rushed off to finish their John Boehner pinatas.
* Obama called North Korea's recent “mini” nuclear test a threat to the U.S. Maybe, compared to Iran's monkey in space program.
* Glenn Beck said he does not like Chris Christie. You know who's livid? Donald Trump. This means Beck has broken his record of 1,218 ongoing feuds.
* A John McCain townhall meeting over immigration reform in his home state of Arizona got rather heated. Because it's Arizona, that's because McCain doesn't agree with the plan to build a $2 trillion laser and impenetrable dome to keep out people from Mexico.
* Mitt Romney was just in Washington D.C. for a black tie dinner. Considering how formal Romney is, the dinner could have been at Applebee's.
* The Mars rover Curiosity is embarking on an ambitious, history-making journey to map the Red Planet. Contrast that with the Iranian space program where the monkey in space just performed an experiment to see if a banana could be peeled in zero gravity.
* At the big toy fair, a new robotic dog was unveiled that is said to be exactly like real dogs, only you don't have to feed them. A group of actual dogs waiting to be adopted at the Humane Society said, “Great, another obstacle.”
* Bad news for Carnival cruise lines - it's gone over its allotted number of free calls to AAA and now has to pay for tow service.