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Brad's morning edition. Check back this afternoon for more jokes from Brad.
* Former Neb. Lt. Gov. Rick Sheehy made 2,300 calls to women who were not his wife on a state-issued cellphone. I don't think Sprint salespeople make that many calls.
* Sheehy will never be governor now. Of course not. Sheehy has laid the groundwork to serve in Congress.
* It's just as well Rick Sheehy probably won't be governor. Instead of a Governor's Mansion, we'd have a “Gubernatorial Love Shack.”
* More information is coming out about how the Sheehy thing went down. Apparently under the Freedom of Information Act, a World-Herald reporter requested Sheehy's phone records and noticed a $17,000 Verizon “late-night booty call” fee.
* A Nebraska state senator is calling for a Buffett rule on those earning over $400,000 per year in Nebraska. This is awful -- now in addition to a competitive mayoral race, Mayor Jim Suttle's aides have to worry about their taxes increasing.
* A bill to reduce the OPS Board from 12 members to 9 advanced despite the bill's sponsor being present but forgetting to vote. This was probably the dumbest thing to happen in the Neb. Legislature in almost two days.
* The proposal would shrink the Omaha school board from 12 members to nine. It's in keeping with the legislature's top priority of reducing everything with the word “Omaha” in it.
* The CIA has a new method of getting captured enemies to talk. Agents are going to show them the “Gangnam style”-dancing pistachios Super Bowl ad over and over until they crack.
* The guy who played the nerd who kissed Bar Refaeli in the Go Daddy ad said it took 45 to 60 takes to get it right. Well, it actually took two takes, the other 58 was him messing up on purpose.
* Some are now claiming that Beyonce's halftime show is linked to the Super Bowl power blackout. At this rate, soon we'll be blaming Beyonce for global warming and the debt ceiling stalemate.
* The Senate Armed Services Committee questioned Chuck Hagel for almost 8 hours in one day. There are probably Democrats on that committee whose marriages didn't last 8 hours.
* Chuck Hagel is facing a lot of criticism from both the left and the right. Apparently this is what President Obama meant when he promised to unite the country.
* Chuck Hagel's assignment was to convince people he's qualified to run the Pentagon. How do you do that? Show the Senate committee a receipt proving you once paid $30K for a toilet?
* Some of Hagel's current stances differ with his past statements. This is not unusual at all. Like many Obama nominees, he has undergone the uber-popular “Cabinet nominee total makeover.”
* It's rumored that Michelle Obama is going to appear on the cover of Vogue magazine because of her fashion sense. Not only that, but a smiling Joe Biden is going to be on the cover of “Travel & Leisure.”
* President Obama said he isn't sure if football is safe. The good news is, with Ray Lewis' retirement, it just got a little safer.
* Tagg Romney is said to be the new “it boy” of the Republican Party. I think this is a good thing, especially if it leads to the headline, “Tagg, you're it.”