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Brad's morning edition. Check back this afternoon for more jokes from Brad.
* After the big power outage in downtown Omaha on Sunday night, OPPD crews worked to restore power. This was such high priority, OPPD only took two brief breaks to raise rates.
* Pockets of downtown are still without power. Let's hope they fix it soon. It's eerily quiet; there is no traffic, and the crowds are gone. ... Actually, on second thought, what's the hurry?
* Iowa Democratic Sen. Tom Harkin, 73, is stepping down to make way for a younger generation politician. If he was Republican, that'd be a guy in his late sixties.
* Harkin is 73; Iowa's other senator, Chuck Grassley, is 79. You know it's time for a change when the Iowa Senate delegation is repeatedly mistaken for the guys in “The Clapper” commercial.
* During Senate recesses, Grassley and Harkin toured Iowa in a revival of “The Sunshine Boys.”
* Harkin is currently serving his sixth term. Lee Terry told him, “Six terms? You're just getting started.”
* Mayor Jim Suttle recently attended a gathering of 300 U.S. mayors. This is not to be confused with the 300 candidates at the Omaha mayoral candidates forum.
* Two big stories in the news: In Greenbrier County, W. Va., there was reportedly at long last a proof-positive Bigfoot sighting, and Tiger Woods just won a golf tournament. Of the two, I gotta say Woods is the most shocking.
* Sunday night on “60 Minutes,” the 2016 presidential race officially kicked off when Barack Obama gave Hillary Clinton his unspoken backhanded endorsement.
* On “60 Minutes,” President Obama called Hillary “a strong friend.” Bill Clinton said, “That goes for me too, Hill.”
* Sarah Palin has left her job as a Fox News contributor. This is awful. It means the only way we can follow Palin's opinions is via her 155 daily Facebook posts, her 800 weekly tweets or by watching one of her seven reality TV shows.
* Chuck Hagel's opponents have begun airing television ads about what could happen if he's confirmed as Secretary of Defense. C'mon, people, I highly doubt the earth will fly off its axis and hurl into the sun.
* Nor do I agree that should Hagel become Secretary of Defense, the country will be overrun by 8-ft. zombies.
* According to one report, Democrats and Republicans in Congress may be trying to work together on achieving a permanent debt ceiling solution and immigration reform. OK, first we had the Manti Te'o dead girlfriend thing, and now this. When will the outrageous hoaxes end?
* At the weekend gathering of conservatives, Paul Ryan called on them to pick their battles with Obama and not just attack him on everything from A through Z. Upon which conservatives said they'd consider eliminating “q.”
* Fox News has hired Democrat Dennis Kucinich. Fox News hired a Democratic commentator. Man, that affirmative action is something.
* Sen. Saxby Chambliss announced he's retiring in 2014. Ten percent of Americans are interested in this story, and the other 90 percent misidentified “Saxby Chambliss” as the main character in “The Hobbit.”
* A woman in Baton Rouge, La., who put up Christmas lights that formed a middle finger on her roof has decided to leave the display up year-round. There's only one reason to put a middle finger on your roof, and that's if you live under the flight path of American Airlines.
* A new flu vaccine called Flubok has been approved. It is “insect-based.” If you take this, you don't catch the flu, but the minor side effects include growing small antennae.
* An insect-based flu vaccine? I believe the last person to use such a thing was named Peter Parker. And we know what happened there.
* Walmart has come out with a beauty magazine. On the prestige scale, this ranks just below having an interior decorator from Dollar Tree.