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Brad's morning edition. Check back this afternoon for more jokes from Brad.
* Streets are slick in spots this morning. Not to worry – the fires raging underground should melt the roads.
* Power was out in parts of downtown Omaha on Sunday night. There were virtually no lights and streets were mostly deserted. It looked like downtown Ames, Iowa, on a Saturday night.
* Traffic lights were still out in much of downtown Omaha this morning. For simplicity's sake, Omaha police are going to assume all the lights are red and give everyone a ticket.
* There was freezing fog in parts of eastern Nebraska. Now we're innovating bad weather that people in most of the world have never even heard of.
* Good news for confused Omaha sports fans who don't understand skating: The U.S. Figure Skating Championships are over. Bad news for confused Omaha sports fans: The next big event in town is a horse jumping show.
* The big attraction at the U.S. Figure Skating Championships were mini Zamboni races. This is like Texas and South Carolina being tied 4-4 in the College World Series when half the people pour out of the stands and flock to the Fan Fest to hit a beach ball with a Wiffle ball bat.
* Large numbers of middle school students flocked to the mini Zamboni races. Sure, growing up in the shadow of the Omaha Public Works Department, most of these kids had never seen an efficient method of treating ice.
In the ladies division, Ashley Wagner finished first and Gracie Gold took silver. Gold won silver? Just when you think Omahans can't be more confused about the event.
* Armin Mahbanoozadeh competed in the men's short program. In the time it took to say “Armin Mahbanoozadeh,” the short program was over.
* It's official: The New Orleans Hornets will become the New Orleans Pelicans. Pelicans narrowly edge out “Swamp Dogs” and “Bullsharks.” No reason was given, but I'll assume it's because Swamp Dogs and Bullsharks sound like bad truTV reality programs.
* The Pro Bowl was on Sunday. As usual, the players seemed unmotivated. One team was called for too much time in the huddle – they were playing Sudoku.
* In the NFL Pro Bowl, the NFC defeated the AFC 62-35. I felt like I tuned in to the Pro Bowl and an Arena League all-star game broke out.