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Brad's morning edition. Check back this afternoon for more jokes from Brad.
* The U.S. Figure Skating Championships are underway in Omaha. One goal: put on a competition that appeals to Omaha sports fans. That must be why they're allowing couples in the pairs event to body check their opponents.
* In The World-Herald, an expert explained judges' scoring so Omahans could understand it. Once Omahans have a grasp of figure skating judge scoring, we can finally explain it to the rest of the world.
* The World-Herald talked to some visitors in Omaha for the competition and their only complaint was that there wasn't any real snow. Folks, if you are driving around town, you may want to familiarize yourselves with the adage “Be careful what you wish for.”
* Omahans were generally supportive of the championships until learning that due to the CenturyLink Center being occupied, Creighton men's basketball had to play three straight league road games, at which point most suggested moving the skating to the Benson Park lagoon.
* This May's Berkshire shareholders meeting will include a 5K “fun run.” Warren Buffett won't race in the fun run. Instead, for fun, he'll be poring over the PE ratios and revenue reports for Burlington Northern over the past 35 years.
* The House of Representatives is voting on the debt ceiling. A very important law comes into play here. Because it's the House of Representatives, I believe that would be Murphy's Law.
* It's back to normal in Washington, with the House voting on the debt ceiling. Instead couldn't we have one more song by Kelly Clarkson?
* On Tuesday night, the Obamas attended a semi-private inaugural concert featuring Lady Gaga and Tony Bennett. I think it says something that people with musical styles as diverse as Lady Gaga and Tony Bennett can find more common ground than Democrats and Republicans.
* I read that one of the big sponsors of the presidential inauguration was Bank of America. That explains why when Obama signed the official oath of office, the pen was attached to a chain.
* A member of the U.S. Marine Corps band alleged that Beyonce lip-synced the national anthem. Some Hollywood figures are defending Beyonce. It's the word of a member of the U.S. Marine corps vs. Hollywood types. I believe this is why the phrase “no brainer” was invented.
* Beyonce may have lip-synced the national anthem. Even Nixon made it through the inauguration without scandal erupting.
* People are still talking about President Obama's forceful, tough inauguration speech. Probably the highlight was halfway through when he called for deporting Sean Hannity.
* Michelle Obama rolled her eyes at something John Boehner said. Considering the apparent acrimony between her husband and Boehner, I'm just surprised she didn't also hold her hands over her ears.
* USA Today had an article headlined: “The World Reacts To Michelle Obama's Bangs.” Personally, I'd feel more secure to see an article titled: “The World Has Better Things To Do Than Worry About Michelle Obama's Bangs.”
* The White House rejected an online petition to build a Death Star laser like the one in “Star Wars” because it would cost $850,000,000,000,000,000. Since when does this White House worry about blowing another $850,000,000,000,000,000?
* Here's the ironic thing: $850,000,000,000,000,000 is still $11 less than Obamacare will cost.
* The White House said if it wanted to spend $850 quadrillion, it would buy a Super Bowl ad.
* To provide some perspective, $850 quadrillion was the cost of Obama's 2009 inauguration.
* Condeleeza Rice has a new job at CBS. She wants to work for CBS in hopes of achieving her lifelong dream of being snubbed by Bill Belichick.