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Brad's morning edition. Check back this afternoon for more jokes from Brad.
* The story about Notre Name linebacker Manti Te'o's fake girlfriend has knocked this weekend's Senior Bowl off the sports pages. Which isn't saying much. The Buenos Aires Pee Wee Kickboxing Semifinals could knock the Senior Bowl off the sports pages.
* The girlfriend of Notre Dame star linebacker Manti Te'o was apparently fake. Whoever is responsible for this hoax has accomplished the impossible -- make Lance Armstrong seem ethical.
* Late Wednesday, there were reports of a second hoax in college football. But it turns out that a 6-7 team really did play in a bowl game.
* A group of Omaha police officers were sent to Washington, D.C. to assist with President Obama's inauguration. How bad is it going to look when the official presidential inaugural limo is ticketed for a parking violation?
* The goal: get through Bill Clinton's entire speech without any turnover in Omaha police chief.
* Lance Armstrong is in talks to return sponsorship money to the U.S. Postal Service. This is the closest the Postal Service has had to a comprehensive bailout plan.
* Lance Armstrong did an interview with Oprah Winfrey, where he discussed allegations by the U.S. Anti-Doping Agency. I'd like to clear up some confusion -- the U.S. Anti-Doping Agency is not the entity that finds guests for daytime talk shows.
* The biggest sports interview in years was conducted by Oprah. Does this mean that Bob Costas will be talking to Dr. Oz about the best time of day to get a colonic?
* Nebraska Republican Gov. Dave Heineman wants to spend $2.2 million on a plane to get around. He's receiving criticism. Democratic Omaha Mayor Jim Suttle said that $2.2 million could be better spent on a car lease.
* Details of Heineman's proposal to eliminate the state income tax are a bit vague. All we know is that he plans to fund it by cutting spending on something or other and reduce the what's a ma-call-it and raise the tax on some thing-a-ma-jigee or another.
* Omaha city councilman Ben Gray and OPS Board President Freddie Gray owe $49,000 in back taxes. You merge a member of the Omaha City Council with a member of the OPS Board, I think there's a 90 percent chance of some financial problem.
* Bob Kerrey accepted a job with the nonprofit arm of a school in San Francisco. Jon Bruning said: “A non profit? Why would anyone work for a nonprofit?”
* After Bob Kerrey accepted a job in San Francisco; he and his and family may be splitting their time between Omaha, New York and San Francisco, though probably not in that order.
* Michelle Obama turned 49 on Thursday. A group of bumbling, confused members of the U.S. Congress said if she sees her shadow, it means six more weeks of winter.
* In preparation for the Obama inauguration, an Air Force staff sergeant stood in for President Obama. To get into character, the staff sergeant raised a few taxes, argued with Republicans and took a really long, expensive vacation.
* President Obama's inauguration on Monday will be full of pomp and ceremony. To capitalize, Obama just enacted his new pomp tax.
* At his inauguration on Monday, President Obama will be sworn in with a Bible that once belonged to Abraham Lincoln. Considering how often Obama appears on entertainment shows, it may be more appropriate to swear him in on a TV Guide.
* President Obama's inauguration has been scaled back. Instead of a huge, formal inaugural ball, they're just going to set up a karaoke machine in the Blue Room.
* AT&T is going to fund part of President Obama's inauguration. That explains the official inaugural theme: “Verizon Stinks.”
* Ann Romney has turned down an invitation to appear on “Dancing with the Stars.” Sure, it was humiliating enough for the Romney's to lose a winnable election to President Obama; they don't need to compound their misery by losing a tango to the guy who played “Urkel.”