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* On the news I thought I saw a parade of vehicles 50-miles long escaping an approaching hurricane. It turned out to be all the people driving through Linden Estates to look at Christmas lights.
* A group of activists want to ban all images of Santa smoking a pipe because it presents a bad example for children. In most states Santa's pipe will simply be airbrushed out, although under new state law in Colorado it'll be replaced by a bong.
* I agree that Santa sets a bad example for kids. Instead, we need to allow children to emulate their other role models - professional athletes, rappers and rock stars.
* According to a survey 44 percent of Americans think that Santa is a Democrat, 28 percent think he's a Republican. You think you got testy before the election when a phone poll pulled you away from dinner. “Do I think Santa is a what or a what?”
* I doubt Santa is a Democrat. If he was there'd be a gift tax for everything the elves create.
* Netflix is apologizing for a Christmas Eve outage. My question: Can you even call it Christmas when the family isn't gathered around the big screen watching "Beastmaster II"?
* Omaha officials are promising to "aggressively ticket" cars that don't obey the city's snow parking rules. Aggressively ticket? I believe that means after slapping a ticket on your car then the police officer spikes your windshield wipers.
* Omaha is going to start towing cars of people who can't figure out the Omaha emergency snow parking system. I hope they have 300,000 tow trucks available.
* There are tentative plans for a new high speed train between Omaha and Chicago. The last time anyone will have traveled through Iowa this fast it was Ann Romney heading for the border the day the campaign ended.
* Mitt Romney's son Tagg said his father wanted to be president "less than anyone I've ever met in my life." I suspected as much during the second debate when Romney's response to seven questions was "Whatever."
* While reading "Twas The Night Before Christmas" Michelle Obama was upstaged by Bo, who is a Portugese Water Dog. Tea Party members immediately lashed out at the Obamas for not having an American Water Dog.
* When Michelle Obama read "Twas The Night Before Christmas" she was upstaged by family dog Bo. During the interruption a group of congressmen stood in the audience shouting, "Don't tell us how it ends!"
* It's appropriate Mrs. Obama read "Twas The Night Before Christmas." That's the big problem - we're five days from the fiscal cliff and there's not even a mouse stirring in Washington.
* A crucial House vote on the fiscal cliff was postponed because Republicans didn't have enough votes. Has anyone else realized that the only time members of either party in Congress have enough votes to pass anything these days it's a pay raise for themselves?